Boosting Tips From G FAM BLACK (Christmas Edition)

Merry Christmas my Gs. It's the best time of year. Cuz its ski mask season. People be lookin at me less for rockin the ski mask in public when it's cold out. In the summer no matter where u go wit a ski mask on mufuckas kno I'm robbin them befor it even happens no lies.

The mall be packed for months befor christmas 2 n u kno I gota couple booster bitches in my stable. This shit right here 1 of my favorite hustles.

First things first I roll me up at least a gram in a wood. I put some oil in that mufucka 2 if I got that. This shit 4 the face cuz i don't trust where these hoes mouth ben. A Nigga need 2 b blazed 2 b round all these white people at the mall. No offence.

I let these bitches take most shit but I b takin shit 2. This year we went str8 for the big price gifts. Jewelry. Small electronic shit. These bitches sell pussy for coke but they boostin game on point like a needle tip. Sometime I dont know they took shit my damn self. Me ina ski mask be distractin eryone the whole time these bitches the 1s takin shit.

The mall b buggin me out tho 2 when I'm 2 high. I start hearin this fuckin christimas music n I get 2 deep in2 that shit. Some of them songs b more fucked up when u really listen. Who be writin this shit? Granmoms got run over by a reindeer? The fuck that even mean?? They got shit like baby it's cold outside basically the bill Cosby anthem. Momma kissing santa claus? U kno that santa ain't real right? That nigga get paid $11 a hour from the temp agency to dress up n let kids tell him what the fuck they want. Ur mom jus a ho if she kissin that scram ass dude. N why people let they kid sit on this old dude lap like that anyways? Nah nigga. Not my seeds.

U can str8 avoid all that shit if u gota friend wit a car thats bout that life. Best shit to do is take presents right off people porch when Amazon delivers it. U never kno what u gon get but that's the best part. Find you a nice quite neighborhood n then a spot wit no cars in the driveway n boxes on the porch. Eryone get shit delivered from Amazon these days.

Simple as that my Gs. I ben doin this 4 years now. Trust ya boy G FAM BLACK when I tell you. The small n medium boxes be the best. Used to go 4 the big boxes n mos the time shit just be groceries.

End of the day we unload the shit n see what we got. There b all type of shit. We even got dildos n blowup dolls n shit. Erything goes right up on Ebay. Cheap as fuck 2 so it all sell in a day. If im working wit jasmine n diana they each get bout 25% each n im keepin 50. If its jus one of them they get 25 n I get 75. They usually coppin work wit that paper so it's a win win 4 me.

Ill catch u in a week my Gs. Go support ur boy n cop SKI MASK DOWN on my bandcamp. Gfamblack.bandcamp.com

-G FAM BLACK

EBT accepted at the Aquarium

what's good my Gs??

Talking Seaweed actually got me back for the second time so I guess u was diggin the first one. Salute everyone out there fuckin wit me.

Ever since I been off house arrest I been liking to get dumb high and go on adventures. u know a nigga on a budget so u gotta be creative.

Im a let yall in on a lil secret. If u gotta EBT card in MASS u can get into the aquarium for $5. that save u like $20 something.

What I like to do is get me a edible to eat before I even leave. Debbie on the first floor got them brownees that put u in space no lies. Shit usually take like a hour to kick in so i eat that soon as i wake up and brush my teeth.

When u in the aquarium u cant really smoke but u can vape. if u dont kno about that what u need to do is go 2 the smoke shop and get a battery for $10 then get a cartrige from one of your peoples of that sativa. If u dont kno anyone that got that just ask the nigga at the vape shop. He polly sells them on the side. If u paying more than $40 for 1000 mg then u fuckin up. U want sativa cuz that indica gon have u falling asleep. I like that durban poison but they got other kinds 2. Make sure u charge ur battery all the way up. Them oils get u FUCKED UP so if u never tried that shit take it slow.

Take the train into bean wit ur peoples cuz u don't wanna pay 2 park out there. get off at the aquarium stop off the blue line and its right there. by now u polly starting to feel that brownee kickn in 2. Show ur EBT card at the spot where u pay and get tickets for $5 each. If u bringin a bitch that's a $10 date. Any chick u bring to the aquarium is givin that pussy up. FACTS. if you dont bring a bitch it's even better. The aquarium in full of hoes. U kno how many single moms be takin they kids here ? U get a choice of mad bitches in there. Even if they not single they mans never there wit em. If u cant bag a chick at the aquarium then give up now my Gs

Theres mad shit to see over there too. There is this guy that be going in the big tank n swimming round wit the fuckin sharks too. Last time this dude reach in the tank and stole a shark no lies.

They got penguins in there too. Last time they had this sea lion show too and this big mufucka did all types of tricks an shit. I was dumb high n had more fun than the kids in there. If u hittin that vape on the low ain't no one saying shit to you. Not much smoke to it so no 1 knows.

before you leave visit the gift shop. Hardly no security n there mad shit to take stuff animals, shirts, books. I forgot to say that when u go in there they take ur picture. When u leave they try to sell it to u but if u smart u just pull out ur phone and take a pic of it. So now u leaving with a stuff animal a picture for u an ur date an u only spent $10 plus what u paid to get on the train. Even tho u paid for the vape and cartridge that shit gonna last u a couple weeks. Make sure u take that on every adventure. I take my pen everywhere I go even when I'm taking a shit no lies. I will be back in a week. Peace my Gs. STAY HIGH

“SKI MASK DOWN” AVAILABLE 12.20.18

- G FAM BLACK

HOW TO MAKE PRISON STYLE WEED INFUSED RAMEN

EYO, it's ur boy G FAM BLACK!

Who the fuck is G FAM BLACK?

I'm the realest nigga u never met. Born and raised in Brockton Murda Ma$$.

I'm the nigga in the ski mask. U mighta seen me on a meme. U mighta heard me on a song. There's a good chance u seen me on surveillence footage if u watched the news in the early 2000's..

But enough of that shit. I'm here cuz Talking Seaweed hit me up to write this blog. I smoke good all day so I'm perfect for the job. No lies I took my driver license test high. Bud just makes life better.

They said I could write about whatever I want. So first my first joint ima teach u how to make prison style ramen wit weed in it. All u gotta have is:

chicken or beef ramen pack

tuna fish can

2 big pieces of butter

3.5 of some fire bud

bag of doritos

3 hot sauce packs

3 cheese packs

some water

First u gotta make the weed butter. put the bud and butter in a pot wit some water but not a lot of water. Let that shit cook for a while.

While that cookin u wanna take the doritos and 3 cheese packs and 2 hot sauce packs and put them in a plastic bag and a little bit of water and mix it up in the bag so that shit turn all pasty

After like 25 or even 45 minute take all the weed out and put it somewhere to dry cuz erything that gonna get u high is still in the pot. put the ramen in and cook it til its done and put the flavor packet in

Now take ur doritos cheese sauce and mix it in real good with the ramen. open the tuna can and mash it all the way the fuck up and mix it in. If u got no tuna u can use jack mack. Put the whole mix on the plate and take ur last hot sauce pack and put it on top of it, Now u gotta 5 star meal that gon get u high than a muthfucka

U wanna dry that bud out real good even tho its not gon get u high no more u still wanna try to sell that to someone that don't kno no better to get ur money back.

try it and let a nigga kno how it come out. if u near brockton holla at me n i will teach u for a small fee. Peace my Gs. STAY HIGH

 - G FAM BLACK

INFUSING THANKSGIVING DINNER WITH THE MASS CANNABIS CHEFS

So we hosted another MCC dinner at Rose Glen HQ. Here is a BTS look at the inner workings of a Mass Cannabis Chefs Dinner.

Rose Glen vs Dirtbike that is older than him

4 minutes and 20 seconds with Rose Glen

R.I.P. ........................ to us

R.I.P. to us…………………………………………………………………….. until 2019. Kind of. So here is the deal people. We love November. Its easily the beginning of the best time of year. The day after Halloween is the first day of thanksgiving. Thats a pretty big deal.. It is the time of the year when family and friends gather. Food is bountiful. Drinks are flowing. Bud is burning. Police are pulling families over to extort them for money. Traffic is at a high on the year. Lastly Football is on. What an amazing time

GOAT

food

picture of weed turkey

We at Talking Seaweed are gong to be making some changes for the next couple of months. Effective November 1, 2018 we will be slowing the release of media. Jokes Over Everything will still be coming out when Bobby and Jon can finally get Danny to get serious.. Per my direction the entire Talking Seaweed family will be focusing on being a part of their community and focusing on the real meaning of the holidays. Giving Back. So we want to say to all of you. From us here at Talking Seaweed. You’re Welcome for giving you time to catch up.

Family Time

Thank You to everyone that supports what we do.

(Dictated Not Read)

Stephen Talking

Great White Shark

TalkingSeaweed.com

THE MAN IN THE KHAKIS IS BACK!!! I'll Be the Judge of That -- Bahama Mama

Peace yall! It's ya boy Judge, back at it (finally!) with another strain review for ya. Now I know, I've been off the radar for a minute, I hit the UK for some music related business, but I'm back and combing the East Coast for the best locally grown genetics. This time, we've got a sexy little diva to sample, Bahama Mama (Tropicana Cookies x Black Banana) from Solfire Gardens, grown by my homie Sean Berte, who brought us the infinitely popular MOB x Valeria x Pink Alien last time. Let's see if he outdid himself this time!

photo by Judge The Disciple

Okay, so bag appeal is solid, though nothing ground breaking. She's got some decent sized forest green nugs with occasional hints of purple, which have an interesting scent profile; citrus and funk. Slight creamy notes on the tail end but theres a heavy, predominantly orange kick to her. When I say funk, think vitamin C pills and feet. It's horrible to say/type, but her scent isn't bad by any means, she's just misunderstood, ok? Pretty solid trich coverage from top to bottom, her primarily clear and cloudy coat shimmers brightly, but I do wish she'd put out a bit more, perhaps it’s the pheno.

photo by Judge The Disciple

Zooming in to the macro level, she's a beauty. Her colors really stand out, those luscious orange hairs really compliment the green backdrop. They really help the random purples pop. Nice squeeze with a healthy bounce back when released. Again, she's coated in trichs but I feel like she could have been more densely covered. Guess I'm just a snob, but I know her lineage, especially the Black Banana side, is known for stellar resin production. Considering she's got cookies on both sides of the family tree she's just a bit lacking in that regard, though what she did put out is admirable. On the break up, she's got that trademark cookie stickiness to her! Interior trich formations are MUCH better in my opinion. Let's see how she tastes!

photo by Judge The Disciple

Her smoke is thick yet easy on the lungs. She was certainly cured well, with a nice white ash when burned. Her flavor is almost all citrus, very little of the creaminess pops through. The funk in her profile is nonexistent on the tongue which, unless you like the taste of feet is a good thing! I'm honestly not a huge fan of the flavor profile, there's an almost medicinal tinge to the orange, which is not really my cup of tea. Her high though, is a great sativa ride; perfect for midday sessions and worked wonders for my anxiety. She is mellow enough to keep you running throughout the day, with her effects lasting a solid hour and a half or so.

photo by Judge The Disciple

Overall, I'm kinda torn. While she is certainly gorgeous, her scent and flavor profiles leave much to be desired, for me at least. I know there are many of you out there who love the citrus cuts, but she's a bit overboard with it. I wish more of her cookie side came through in the end. I would love to come across phenotypic expressions of her, I know there are some heavily cookie-dominant cuts out there, so I'll have to keep my eyes out. That said, her effects are solid and l think she's a great beginner to intermediate smoker strain. She will keep you rolling along with no worries about couch lock. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a solid 3 out of 5 blunts. 

Judge the Disciple

I'll be the Judge of That - Do-Si-Dos

Peace ya'll, Judge here once again with another weekly review! Now, this review here makes a total of 8 strains I've put through the wringer, but I have yet to really explain my process so, let's break it down right quick. Every strain I review becomes my only strain for 24 hours, can't be crossing the streams so to speak! I smoke primarily Fronto King leaf, so it's blunt after blunt for 24 hours; taking notes during each session, to make sure I can absorb as much from her as possible before officially putting the pen to paper. Now, you might say, "But Judge, you can't taste anything in a blunt leaf!" and I would quickly tell you to stfu on some Batman/Robin meme shit, cuz you definitely can, if you are accustomed to smoking blunts and have even a marginally serviceable palette.  

Ok, so now that we've got that (and my quick lil blunt haters vent) out of the way, let's get this review popping! This week I've got some gorgeous genetics, an indica dominant hybrid that is well known for being a talented resin producer, Do-Si-Dos (Girl Scout Cookies x Face Off OG). She has some big shoes to fill with her lineage, let's see if she can carry the crown!

Photo: Judge The Disciple 

Her bag appeal is bangin' right out the gate! Earthy, cookie funk with slight floral notes on the back end. She's right up in your face immediately and she doesn't back down. That sugar cookie sweetness occasionally cuts through the pungent soil nose, but she's clearly got that OG kick. She's slightly minty, which is a bit unexpected yet very welcome, as it gives her a very uplifting scent profile. Her bud structure is impressive as well, swollen and dense cookie form with an almost marbled effect to her green and purple coloring. Her trichome production is very well known, this strain is a favorite amongst extractors and for good reason; she puts out a massive amount of trichs! So powdery you could ski on her, her trich development nearly hides her coloration at a quick glance. She's a sight to behold, for sure!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Her bud feel is great as well, great squeeze, with a slow but steady bounce back and a solid coat of resin across the finger tips. Her terpene profile is crazy with that mint funkiness I mentioned earlier poking through a bit more on the break up. Subtle hints of lime are there, though they play the background. She will have you cleaning your fingers often through out the rolling process, finger hash for days! She was definitely loved throughout her cycle, these buds are nearly perfect in density and form!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

On the macro level her trichs are worthy of the cookie lineage; she is caked across the board with a legion of cloudy and amber heads. Clusters of trichomes stand tall like little stoned soldiers, waiting to march on your sobriety. Her interior trichs are even more condensed, it's easy to see why she's an extractors best friend. Often approaching 30% THC, if you don't get a solid yield running her, either your grower sucks or your method does. Let's roast her and see if she can take the heat!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

That mint kick is really apparent in her smoke! It's not so overpowering as to make her feel mentholated, but it's a very unique feel on the lungs. Sugar cookies, mint and fresh moist soil are in every exhale, she's precise in her olfactory attack. A bit harsh on the lungs, though it could be the mint feel. She was definitely cured well, with a pristine white ash. Her high is lethal in it's effectiveness; she kicks in within 10 minutes and doesn't relent! She is most definitely for the more experienced smoker, beginner beware! She's equipped with a very gripping body high with a strong sedative effect, don't expect her to be your wake and bake companion, unless you want to have to wake up again in a little while.

Overall, she is a definite keeper; eye catching bag appeal, a really unique, minty nose, and a crippling high make her one to keep an eye out for. Both of her parents' genetics are equally put on display here and the final result is a serious win for me. She's not for the uninitiated, but she's a winner, for sure. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give Do-Si-Dos a solid 4 out of 5 blunts.

 - Judge The Disciple 

I'll be the Judge of that - Shapeshifter

Peace ya'll, its your resident trich hunter Judge back at it with another strain review! I took a break last week to enjoy the holiday with the family, but we're right back in it this week with a sexy little indica dominant hybrid, Shapeshifter (Old Man's Purp X Malawi X Northern Lights Haze X Memory Loss). I'm a sucker for purps, let's see if she's got that funk!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Her bag appeal is a mixed bag, so to speak; gorgeous purples laid over a hunter green backdrop. She's frosty, with lush dense buds, but her aroma is pretty subdued. Light candy notes, slightly floral with a hint of citrus. I just wish it hit you as hard as the visuals do, cuz she is certainly a looker. Once you crack open a nug, her scent really ramps up, there's an earthy grape funk coming off her that is intoxicating! That's what I was looking for! Her buds have a great squeeze, the density really shows through with a decent bounce back.

Photo: Judge The Disciple

On the macro level she's no slouch, there's a treasure trove of milky trichs nearly everywhere you look. Her purp genetics are very face forward, her structure is incredible.  Her manicure was handled well, you can tell that she was given plenty of affection throughout her life cycle. On the break up she is delightful, there is a certain airiness to her (in a good way!) despite the blatantly dense form, and her terpene profile had me inhaling deeply with my eyes closed and a sublime grin across my mug on several occasions.  Let's get her roastin'!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

She's got a smooth hit; hints of cream and grape. There's a sweetness to her finish, it's extremely subtle but reminds me of a grape jolly rancher. Every so often her finish is more soil than sweet, very interesting flavor profile! She's very mellow on the lungs but she comes on quick, with an almost immediate heaviness on the eyelids. Her indica dominant side shows through in full force, with a calming sedating effect, she's probably not the best strain for early to mid day. She's great for pain management and forgetting where you left your keys though! 

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Overall, Shapeshifter was a treat to burn; big beautiful purple and green nugs packing a mellow yet infectious scent and a vicious left hook of a buzz. I do wish her aroma was more pungent before the break up but it's a minor gripe. Man, I love me some purps, but they aren't for everyone, I know. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a solid 3.7 out of 5 blunts.

- Judge The Disciple

I'll be the Judge of that - MOB

Peace ya'll and welcome to another strain review! Much respect for rollin' through and having another session, this makes 6 weeks you've taken the time to blaze with me and I never forget a fellow burner! This week we've got some more delectable East Coast genetics on deck, this time it's a crazy lil hybrid from Fly Genetics, grown by Roslindale native Sean Berte, MOB (Blueberry x Jerry Berry) x Valeria  x Pink Alien ( Sour Pez x Lemon Alien). Let's get down to business, shall we?

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Bag appeal is very solid; she has gorgeous little nuggets, nothing massive but they are all uniform in size and structure. Her initial scent is a delightful blend of cotton candy and fruit, strong berry notes. There's a slight hint of cherry lime rickey in there as well! Her profile is crazy complex; lemon, lime, cherry, raspberry and blueberry with a sickly sweet, slightly creamy finish. Talk about a varied, yet focused terpene profile! She is coated with trichs top to bottom, both her MOB and alien sides are definitely running strong through her roots. Mainly clear and cloudy trichs with some pinks and reds sprinkled in there, she is a sight to behold. 

Photo: Judge The Disciple

On the macro level her trich development is downright sexy. She isn't winning any awards on bud size but her uniformity is uncanny. Bud feel is decent enough. A bit underwhelming on the squeeze, but man oh man is she greasy! Resin literally coats your fingers like fresh paint, leaving an oily film of decadent terpenes. Her scent permeates the room and commands your attention. The break up is made that much more difficult due to the sheer amount of resin left on your hands. But, you know me… FINGER HASH! Personally, breaking up tree is an experience all its own and I thoroughly enjoyed being bombarded by this scent profile. Time to take a trip!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Her smoke is thick, yet soothing. Easy on the lungs with an over powering berry kick right from the jump. Her blend of berries carries over the tongue, slowly giving way to a sweet citrus funk on the end. You almost want to lick your lips, she's so tasty! The lime cuts through occasionally, but it's a berry buffet up in here. Her high is blissfully soaring; slight raccooning of the eyes and pressure on the forehead. She's got some moxie, I'll tell ya! She hits straight in the solar plexus, a steady cerebral flight, both focused and listless, there is definitely a line with her. If you don't overdo it, she can be a nice manageable daytime treat, but cross that line and your plans will probably fall through. Her high lasts about 2 hours, there is a definite bang for your buck checkmark here. 

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Overall, I am head over heels for this strain. Her bag appeal was on point, her scent is intoxicating and her high is stellar. She is great (in moderation!) for anxiety and depression; expect giggling fits. You can tell she was raised with love and affection. I have to say, Fly Genetics, you've got a winner with this one and Sean, you done her proud! Her unique flavor profile and potent high are a pretty deadly combination for inexperienced users, you've been warned. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a solid 4 out of 5 blunts.

- Judge The Disciple

I'll Be the Judge of That: Durban Cookies

Peace ya'll, Judge here with this weeks strain review! As always, I want to thank everyone for blazing through these reviews with me. This week, we've got Durban Cookies on deck, a 70/30 sativa dominant strain which is a cross of the ever potent Durban Poison and the always tasty Girl Scout Cookies. Let's find out if her parents raised her right!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Bag appeal is okay, nothing to write home about, her manicure leaves much to be desired. There is an excessive amount of leaf left, but at least she was trimmed by hand. This strain is known to hit upwards of 25% THC, though I'm not too confident this cut has reached her potential. Bud structure itself leans more toward her GSC ancestry, she's solid on that front; decent trichome development, though I feel she may have been harvested a tad early. Still, she certainly sparkles in the right light, with strong vanilla, spice and pine notes. There is a nuttiness to her finish, sweet and earthy on the nose. 

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Bud feel is great, her density holds up well, with a nice tactile squeeze and sufficient bounce back. Her buds are chunky and dense, for sure! Trich development within is pretty significant, she's super frosty toward her center with plenty of resin staining the fingers. Still, it's definite that she was plucked before her prime; I'd say its 75/25 clear to cloudy trichs, she could have marinated for a week or two longer. Her cookie lineage really cuts through on the break up, that vanilla and sugar cookie scent is heavy. I think it's time to put one in the air!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

The GSC flavor profile is really the front runner here; vanilla bean mixed with sweet soil. There's a solid pine kick at the finish, thanks to the alpha pinene she puts out. She offers an extremely energetic high, she is definitely a solid brunch strain, being suitable for early morning or mid day sessions. She packs a long lasting, euphoric high as well, which is great for helping with depression and anxiety. Creative types will love her energy boost, which is a clear headed and focused pick me up. 

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Overall, she is a nice treat to come across. I do wish she had been given a bit more time to develop, but she definitely gets the job done. Her bag appeal left much to be desired, and her trim job was lack luster, but she more than makes up for it with a steady, soaring high. She's got the potency and kick to satisfy an experienced stoner but is gentle enough for the initiate to pick up day or night. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a solid 3.5 of out 5 blunts.

- Judge The Disciple

I'll be the Judge of That: SSD

Peace ya'll, Judge here with another strain to break up and break down! As always, I want to thank you for stopping by and burning it down with me, it's always better when you smoke with friends! This week, I've had the opportunity to sample some locally sourced genetics, MassDawg Genetics' SSD (Sourdawg x Cookies n Cream) x HSOSeeds' Am Kandahar (Amherst Diesel x 76 Kandahar), bred and grown by ohheyyyybuddy. Damn, that was a mouth full! Let's get it in!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Bag appeal straight out of the gate is exceptional; each one of her dense, heavy buds is a forest of trichomes. She's a serious resin producer, with her primarily cloudy trichs creating a thick coat of snow across her mainly green canopy. The diesel is strong in this one! There is no denying the diesel lineage on either side here, she screams diesel and earthiness. Her scent is a delightful punch in the face, permeating the room when her container is opened and lingering long after she's gone. There is a very slight pine finish. This strain is not for the discrete, by any means.

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Bud feel is stellar, her Cookies n Cream form and structure are apparent. Nice give on the squeeze, with a decent, if a bit slow, bounce back on release. She is totally caked with resin and so were my fingers almost immediately when breaking her up. I had to stop and clear the finger hash several times while rolling a blunt. This fuel smell is phenomenal! Teetering on oppressive, this funk is certainly thanks to her Amherst Diesel father. This is a TRUE diesel, through and through.

Photo: Judge The Disciple

On the macro level, she is a stunner; lavish gardens of trichs are found everywhere, tightly packed trich development like this shows a true passion for plant happiness. She was certainly grown with love! On the interior, she is just as stacked, though I did come across a couple seeds… (I was told this is the result of a back crossing/monster creating experiment, so I may just have added a beast to my collection.) I can't imagine where the additional trichomes would have grown if she was at 100% tbh. Still, I gotta knock her a bit for the seedage, it is what it is! Let's set her on fire!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Yup, there's that diesel! If you've ever come across a true diesel, you know exactly what you are in for. If you haven't? She is not for the faint of heart and tolerance. She is a gas station, straight up; warm, moist earth and gasoline coat the tongue, brought on by her high levels of beta caryophyllene. There is nothing sweet about her palette, though I'm told she reeks of strawberries during flower. Well, I can tell you now. There's none of that here, she tastes like a plate of soil mixed with petrol. Her smoke is potent man. A soaring, forgetful, zoned out experience; yet, in true sour diesel fashion, she's energetic! Heavy on the back of the eyes with a slight raccooning/headband effect that lasts. She keeps chugging along, with her excellent pain relief and smile inducing effects lasting well over an hour or more, dependent on your tolerance.

All in all, SSD x Am Kandahar is an impressive strain. Grown via the no till method (look it up if you've never heard of it. Seriously. DO IT!) she is packed from stem to crown with intense diesel flavor and pulls no punches when she strikes! I wish there weren't those couple rogue seeds, which always draw out a sigh, so I can't say she's perfect. But she's pretty damned close in my book. You know exactly what you are getting with the first whiff of soil and jet fuel. She is NOT for the uninitiated, you've been warned. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a solid 3.75 out of 5 blunts.

 - Judge The Disciple

I'll be the Judge of That: Wedding Cake

Peace ya'll, it's Judge back with another review. Let me thank you all for popping in and burning with me, it's been fun thus far! This week, we've got Wedding Cake aka Pink Cookies (Girl Scout Cookies x Cherry Pie).Time to strap on ya helmets, this one's a bit of a rocky ride, let's dive on in, shall we?

Photo: Judge The Disciple

Her bag appeal is, to be honest, a bit lacking. Visually, she's pretty beat up. Either she was trimmed by machine or her trimmer was heavy handed. It's a shame, really, because she smells amazing; OG notes abound, there are strong floral scents as well, with a dominant vanilla kick to the nose. After cracking open a bud, a nice earthy scent came into play. Her bud feel is moderate, a tad on the crunchy side, with little bounce back when squeezed.

Photo: Judge The Disciple

I did find a couple under developed seeds, which would normally knock her down a bit (and still technically does), as she didn't have 100% of her energy spent on trichome development. Whether it was a late stage light leak, or some other form of stress, I don't know, but it was definitely late in the game because her trich clusters on the interior are pretty insane, as you can see. This strain is known for hitting 25% THC or more, and I feel, if she wasn't stressed to hermie, they would have hit those numbers easily.

Photo: Judge The Disciple

At the macro level, you can see just how stacked these trichs are! Resin tacos everywhere! I truly feel like whoever trimmed this, whether man or machine, ruined what could have been an amazing sight. I was not expecting to see such an abundance of heads where the outside was a wasteland of decapitated stalks. Tons of resin on the fingers. Let's take her for a ride!

Photo: Judge The Disciple

She has a soothing vanilla taste, sugar cookies and ginger on the front end. There are hints of cake batter and earthy notes, but the vanilla keeps rearing her head at the finish. Her caryophyllene levels give her a nice spicy kick, while also helping with anxiety and inflammation.  For an indica dominant strain, she is very easy at the onset; a bit of pressure behind the eyes, but a focused, clear headed cerebral experience. She is very up beat at first, which aligns with her mostly clear trichome heads. That said, she doesn't fight fair. Her potency doesn't show itself all at once and if you smoke of her heavily, she creeps up on you in steady, heady waves. She is a great pain reliever and tends to bring on the giggles, with a relaxing finish that will leave you ready for some munchies and a movie. I would not recommend her for mid day sessions, unless you are okay with moving at a sloth like pace.

I was not impressed by her upon first glance, and she had a couple seeds, which unfortunately bring my score down. Still, I hope to see the next crop, every grow is a learning experience and they still did a solid job . As a whole, I would say this is a strain certainly deserving of the hype, since even without reaching peak plant potential, she packed a punch. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a 3 out of 5 blunts.

- Judge The Disciple

SEX WITH GREAT WHITE SHARK MAY CAUSE INJURY!!

Hey Sharks,

Ooops I did it again! (in Brittney Spears’ singing voice) ill just cut to the chase… I, like many of you, had Memorialitis last week! I just didn’t feel like working, at all. I know you're all asking yourself; "what kind of job does this chick have where she just writes whenever she wants?". Or you’re wondering if I’m sleeping with the boss? Well.... let me answer those wonderful questions for you.

I have the best job! I write a weekly (well bi weekly lately) blog about nothing in particular. I smoke tons of weed, yes as part of my job, obviously. I work with some pretty funny guys, who also smoke tons of weed… for work… obviously. Also my office is the ocean!

As for the second question. Am I sleeping with the boss? I’ve put some thought and research into this because if I could sleep with the boss then maybe I could do even less work then I do now. Unfortunately, though,  Boss Man is a Great White Shark!

Great White Shark

Do you know how they FUCK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

During my research I actually found an article titled “7 Scientific Reasons You Should Never Have Sex With A Shark”. WHAT!?!?!  That shit is terrifying!!!!!!!! First off I’m not that good of a swimmer, so I would probably drown before we even got busy. Secondly, they bite the female shark to hold them in place. UMMM that’s way too S&M for me. A little love bite is one thing, but, a great white shark love bite would cut me in half. Effectively rendering me fired… from life! With both of those death sentences I haven’t even hit on the worst part. Did you know sharks have two dicks? Two.  TWO! They are apparently not dicks they’re “claspers”. Let’s be honest that’s two dicks.  And once it is inserted it has little hook things (think multiple fish hooks) to keep it inside until they are done! What the FUCK!!!! On a happier note they do not use both “claspers” at the same time. They only use the one that is on the side that they dock next to the female on.  HOLY SHIT!!

So, just in case you didn’t figure it out on your own, NO, NO! I am not sleeping with the boss. I like my life! As a result, unfortunately for you all, I’m going to have to write a blog weekly. Maybe I’ll write some more fun shark sex facts! Like female sharks have thicker skin to withstand the male’s bite, or that female sharks wade In shallow water during mating season so the male sharks can’t dock up next to them, viciously bite them, and then shove one of their freaky dick things inside them! This last fact makes me wonder are shark attacks really just horny male sharks looking to rape humans. Just pulling up next to you, all hot and bothered, giving you a sexy little shark nibble to see if you’re interested! Then, when your not, they swim off all embarrassed! Meanwhile, here you are bleeding to death. All because you were swimming all sexily turning on the sharks! Yikes! This is why I will stay on shore like a beached whale. But not a blue whale…. 12 inches… in diameter… ten mutha fucking feet! Smoke on that!

HE KNOWS WHATS UP

Now I need to go take too many bong rips to clear my head.

Keep swimming, keep smoking, and keep smiling!

Emjae

I'll be the Judge of That: Plushberry

Peace ya'll, Judge here! I want to thank everyone for checking in on my first review and coming back for another round. Now, this is all new to me, so let's do what I should have done from jump; explain my reviewing method. I will be critiquing each strain on a number of factors, these factors being: 

Bag Appeal - how she presents herself on first inspection. First impressions are huge and often the excitement of opening a fresh container of properly curated buds does have a slight effect on the upcoming session. Not to mention the effect it has on the decision to pick which strains you're taking home.

Photo by Judge The Disciple for Talking Seaweed. 

Terpene Profile - where she takes us on our olfactory journey is important for a number of reasons, its not just the flavor of the smoke I care about. Different terpene combinations change the effects of the cannabinoids and thus the smoking experience. But let's face it, a deep whiff of amazing cannabis can and will increase the experience as well!

Bud Feel -  This is something a lot of people skip, but it's important to me. How a bud feels on the fingertips tells much about how she was grown, harvested, dried and cured. No one wants something that crumbles to dust when you pick it up, but you certainly don't want wet (and possibly moldy!) bud either. 

Trichome Development - Another huge point, just how well does the strain produce? Was she allowed to properly develop those gorgeous trichs? How long were they allowed to develop? This is one of the most important aspects, and not just for sexy macro shots. Trichomes, and the compounds they carry, lead the journey the strain takes us on. Consider them tiny mushroom shaped Sherpas. 

And…

The Smoking Experience - What flavors do we experience? How mellow or harsh is she? How does she make me feel? Am I able to be a (somewhat…mostly debatable) functioning member of society after? How much will I be spending on munchies? It's all important.

Photo by Judge The Disciple for Talking Seaweed. 

Finally, I will give an overall rating, on a scale of 1 (being subpar) to 5 (being one of the best strains I've sampled) blunts. 

Hope you’re still with me after that intro. Now, on to the good stuff, let's roll up!

Another week brings another gorgeous strain to review, this time I'll be sampling TGA Subcools' first Kush entry, Plushberry.

Plushberry (Black Cherry Cola x Space Queen) is a unique strain, that's for sure. Somewhat subtle (in this cutting, at least) pink and magenta hues meld between the light and forest greens of a sturdy kush-like bud structure. Hints of cherry, but mainly black berry, attack the nose and command attention. Her scent is intoxicating. Bag appeal is extremely high with this one, one whiff and you'll want the chance to taste her.

Bud feel is solid as well, this cut was perfectly manicured. There's a little bit of give when squeezed, with a healthy amount of bounce back, which tells me she was properly dried and cured. Buds are very dense, and packed with trichomes from crown to stem. She definitely gets her resin production from the Space Queen lineage, she's a beauty to behold. Let's smoke her, shall we?

Photo by Judge The Disciple for Talking Seaweed.

The blackberry and raspberry flavors are potent right out of the gate! Very calming and relaxing on the head, this is a great mid day strain. She's perfect to de-stress after a long day as well, you won't go wrong with this heavy indica dominant hybrid. Mellow on the lungs, very little cough to mention here. Her high levels of myrcene and linalool certainly tip toe across the tongue, while a bit of hoppy humulene rears its head in places, but never overpowers. I'm very impressed with her leisurely stroll of a high, she takes you for a nice walk through the clouds and drops you off right where you need to be. 

Overall, I feel TGA Subcool has a winner on their hands; Plushberry is packed with flavor and just the first whiff of opening her container transports you to a better place, but its her calm and composed high that takes her to the next level. As always, your mileage may vary, but I give her a 4.5 out of 5 blunts.

- Judge The Disciple 

I'll be the Judge of That... Strain: Miss USA

Miss USA (Strawberry Banana #1 x Kosherdawg) by DNA Genetics/Crockett Family Farms (the well known creators of Tangie and Chocolope, amongst many other strains) is aptly named; easy on the eyes and heavy on the head. With a reputation for reaching over 30% THC if properly grown, she is making quite the name for herself. Noted for having high myrcene and limonene levels, she is said to be a heavy hitter; time to put her through the paces.

Her bag appeal is extremely high with a generous coat of trichomes blanketing her densely packed, kush-like bud structure, its easy to see the Kosherdawg lineage. The nose is very earthy (thanks to the high levels of myrcene), with a hint of sugar cookies on the tail end. Not too much of her Strawberry Banana side comes through, if at all, upon first sniff. There is a mild fruitiness there, an almost fermented fruit aroma, which peeks through once you start to break up one of her buds.

Bud feel is very impressive, with a subtle give when squeezed and an ample coating of resin on the fingers. She is one frosty strain for sure, trich stacked upon trich producing a resin taco appearance when observed at the macro level. I'm definitely a fan of her on the break up, I'm always game for some finger hash and she doesn't disappoint there.

She rolls nice and smokes even nicer, this is where her Strawberry Banana side shows through. Her pillowy smoke is gentle on the lungs, rarely eliciting a cough, leaving a mellow yet sweet bouquet of aromatics across the palette. There are subtle fruit notes; berries and melon - but the earthiness of the myrcene cuts through and is the real star of the show.

She is definitely a heavy hitter as advertised, no doubt. Her effects are not subtle by any means, bringing an overall calm and sedating effect within the first 10 minutes of lighting up. I would not recommend her mid day for low tolerance smokers. She will put you to sleep if you aren't accustomed to strong indica dominant strains. Miss USA is a clear winner for evening/bed time sessions and general pain relief. 

Overall, I am impressed with this strain, DNA Genetics/Crockett Family Farms has done it again. She's a treat to smoke, does her job exceptionally well and kept me coming back for another toke. As always, your mileage may vary, but I can confidently give Miss USA a 4 out of 5 blunts.

 - Judge The Disciple

BETTS IS BACK BABY!!

5-21-18

Hello Everyone at Talking Seaweed.   If you have listened to the sports podcast on our site you will know me as Sam, or half of the Talking Seaweed sports team.  I am going to be here weekly to keep tabs on the world of sports, and beyond. 

Betts is currently hitting  .365

On our preseason baseball podcast we had mixed hopes on the 2018 Boston Red Sox season.  The Sox were coming off of consecutive division titles for the first time in team history.  Despite this, they canned manager John Farrell and replaced him with Alex Cora heading into 2018.  It seemed like there were at least as many question marks as answers and a lot was up in the air.  They had talent clearly, but with the Yankees adding Giancarlo Stanton most people were no longer talking about them as the class of the A.L East.  As of writing this the Sox are through 43 games, roughly a quarter of the season.  Bob and I had a few questions in the podcast that we thought the Sox hopes would hinge on throughout the season.   During the summer I am going to check on a few of these and see how they panned out.

One of our biggest keys to the 2018 season was what kind of season all star outfielder Mookie Betts would have.  Two years ago Mookie Betts was an MVP caliber player.  He did it all in 2016, finishing second place in the AL most valuable player voting.   He was a true young star, changing games with his defense, speed, and power combo.  He brought new youthful energy to the team and was the young star they needed to take the team to the next generation of Red Sox baseball.  That was his second strong full season and he seemed poised to take the leap to very top echelon of players in the league.

2017 was not the season most people, including Mookie, envisioned.   Don't get me wrong, it was not a horrid season by any stretch.  He made the AL All Star team, came to play every day and was a good solid player.  He just was not the budding superstar he flashed in 2016.  He finished the season with a .262 batting average, way down from 2017’s .318 average.  And he just did not seem right with the eye test.  He had long slumps, had trouble hitting in clutch spots, and seemed to wear down during points in the season.  Almost as much mentally as physically.   You could see he was pressing and felt a lot of pressure to carry the team.

Heading into this year’s season, obviously it would be huge for the Sox if they could get the 2016 version of Mookie to come back and lead them. Well, a quarter of the way into the season the Sox are not getting 2017 Mookie. They are not getting 2016 Mookie either.  Somehow, they are getting an even better than imagined Mookie Betts in 2018.   43 games into the season he has been nothing short of a revelation.   He is hitting .353 with 13 home runs, leading the league in 7 important offensive categories.  He is on pace to shatter his career high in almost every category, but it is much more than that.   He has carried the entire team for stretches, had clutch hit after clutch hit, and has been ridiculously exciting to watch.

At his best, Betts can do it all, and he certainly has done that so far this season.  Last season there was a vacant space in the clubhouse with the loss of David Ortiz to retirement.  Some of the spark, the flair, and the leadership was gone with Big Papi.   A lot of people looked to Mookie to step into that role and personally I think he was simply just not ready yet.  That is a big step up for a young player to carry a team and be the leader. The trials and tribulations of the 2017 season were an invaluable learning experience.  You can see how he is different this year.  Not just in his play, but in interviews, his demeanor during games, and also watching him interact with teammates.  He has stepped up to the plate in every way imaginable. 

Mookie Betts finding out about this blog on TalkingSeaweed.com

Nationally, he is being touted as the early favorite for the AL MVP and his production helped the Sox get off to a 17 and 2 start.  Currently they are a half game behind the Yankees and have the second best record in the entire majors at 29 and 14.  Baseball is a long haul and nothing is official yet, but it is a huge start for the Sox and fans alike- that their best player is playing at a superstar level.

New England summers at Talking Seaweed Sports consist of blunts, barbeques, beers, bongs, baseball, and BETTS!  Hopefully for many years to come- catch you next week. 

• Sam Grizzle

LAZY POTHEAD SKIPS WEEK WRITING BLOG

Hey Sharks!

So last week I totally slacked on writing this blog, I know you noticed.

 I could tell you it was for a good reason, like I was busy fighting for cannabis legalization… but it’s already legal! Well, at least here it is. I could tell you there was an emergency with my grow and it needed my immediate attention… but if you follow me on Instagram @Emjae_420, you would know my shit is running smoothly and looking amazing! Or I could tell you that I was I'll from food poisoning or the flu or some major illness… but I don’t lie about being sick... NEVER!  As soon as I do I get whatever god awful sickness I lie about. So I will not lie about that… aint nobody got time for that. So I will stick to the truth because I’m too high to lie. (said really really cool)

I was simply out of town… no that’s a lie. I was just having a lazy day. Well actual night.  I write my blogs at night after the kids go to bed. Because that is the only time I can hear the voices in my head. Last week those voices must have been on vacation because all I could manage to do was take bong rips and watch garbage TV. It was even a struggle to get off my couch to go pee. I mean I didn’t pee my couch via threw my pants or anything. I just waited until the very last moment because whatever garbage I was watching was so enthralling I was willing to cause myself physical pain by neglecting my bursting bladder to continue studying how rich women interact with each other.  I was either watching the real house wives or southern charm. Way worse for me then all those bong rips; dead brain cells, strains your eyes, and it’s so damn addicting! The only thing the weed did was put me at those women’s mental  level… fucked up!    

I started this writing tonight with plans to write about working out high. Like how it’s great to because you get focused and it gives you the ability to push through and finish your work out like a super human. Or, you could be like me and get high on the way to the gym realize you left your water in the car but you’re already inside so you’re not going to turn around.

Then once you hit the treadmill,

you immediately realize you are far too high to be in public so after a short convo with yourself you decide you’re going to finish your stroll. You don’t want to walk in and immediately walk out. That would draw to much attention to your high ass. Now, seeing that you’re high AF you’re aware that everyone knows your high and everyone is watching you. So you continue walking and then you realize I am so fucking thirsty… I need water immediately. I am going to die if I do not have water now. I have been walking for 20 minutes easily uphill without any water. So you look down at the timer and what do you see 5:15 FIVE MINUTES AND FIFTEEN SECONDS and your walking flat! really is this a fucking sick joke. That’s it.  I did myself a due service and just left. I don’t even know if I shut the machine off. I’m almost positive that I did because I think I was too high to get off without falling if it was still moving.  

But, hey I don’t remember doing it so I’m sticking with I was so high I just jumped off smooth as fuck and bolted toward the door yelling I’m not high! You are!

"IM NOT HIGH YOU ARE"

I feel like I should write so much more but I forgot what my point was. So maybe I'll pick up on this next week, but I'll probably talk about something completely different.

Keep swimming, keep smoking, keep smiling!

Xoxox Emjae