Talking Seaweed

Talking Seaweed is a cannabis lifestyle brand founded on the East coast in 2018. Through multi-media, comedy and live events Talking Seaweed is not only giving the entire industry a platform to laugh, learn and reach everyday consumers, but we’re also consistently influencing and defining the East coast cannabis lifestyle. From producing full length (Netflix style) series’, to podcasts, to professional photography, TS delivers high quality, consistent content while fully immersing themselves in the cannabis industry and culture.

...Sorry for wasting your time.

Ask G FAM: “I just started dating a black guy…”

What is good my mufuckin Gs. Its ur homie G FAM BLACK back like a backiotomy. Long time I aint been answerin yall questions. some of yall dyin 4 my advice so letme get 2 it..

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“Hay G,

I just started dating a black guy for the first time ever. He treats me so good and we do things I’ve never done before, stuff you see up in rap videos! He traps pot and I hold it for him while he makes his money. He sticks it in my pussy while we walk around and takes it when he needs it. Last week 2 bags of pot got stuck in there and idk what to do. He used the bbq tongs but they are only 10 inches long, not even deep enough. I can’t go to the hospital and go to jail. HELP!

Britt in NH”

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Yo there way 2 much wrong wit this question. I gotta brake this shit down 2 get 2 ur answer.

First thing first no idea how old u r but I guess its props 2 u 4 fucking wit a black dude 4 the first time. Its cool 2 mix it up I fuck wit a white bitch ery once in awile 2. the prolem is that now u cant fuck a whiteboy again its tru all the rumors n sayings.

Second thing. is dude like a new hamshire black dude?? Who the fuck call it trappin when u sellin weed??  No 1. N who the muthafuck calls it pot??? Less than no 1. He mus be a lightskin nigga. Soft mufucka. this shit make me think yall sum teenagers like 14. Stuff I see in rap videos? What kinda dumb shit is that tho? yall makin it rain? Tf that even mean??

Weed aint eve that serious 2 get caught wit. Go2 jail 4 a bag of weed in ur pussy? dumb shit I ever herd. So u got 2 bags of weed in ur pussy 4 a week or more by now n u scared 2 get 2 a doctor? U dumb bitch u gon die. I kno weed come from the earth but it aint pose 2 be stuck up ur pussy 4 all that time. Fuck around be gangrene or some shit. get 2 the doc 2day or dm me back n I will take it out 4 lik $100.

Another thing. U say 10 inch mufuckin bbq tongs don’t go deep enough???? either u lyin bout jus startin 2 fuck a black dude in the first place. U been fuckin bedposts. Or this dude is jus destroyin that stink mitten. Str8 up.

Ok so my advice is leave this soft ass new hamshire nigga n come out 2 brockton. Only if u over 18 n im not convice that u r. but if u over 18 come thru n get money wit a real 1. Fuck all that selling weed shit. ima take u shoppin get u some fly clothes. Then put u in the strip club 2 work 2 pay me back wit a little interest. U need a nigga wit goals on ur side not some nickel n dime type petty nigga.

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Hit my dms on ig 4 u n ery bitch tryna make a buck. Les get it. N if u gotta question 4 ur boy hit me there or my email geoffblack@mail.com. N I want all my Gs 2 go out n listen 2 my new album DRUG SPOTS AND MUG SHOTS produced by Skinny Bonez Tha Godfatha out of the netherlands.


LISTEN TO DRUG SPOTS AND MUG SHOTS HERE


ASK G FAM: "NEX QUESTION!"

WHAT IT IS MY GS? its ur boy G FAM BLACK back like nacho fries at taco bell. I kno u mufuckas missed me cuz I got crazy email n dms from yall wit these weed questions. Here go a few of the 1s I didnt hate as much as the other 1s. first up is the homie Roscoe in upstate NY.

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“What up G-Fam,

How young is too young to smoke w my son?

Roscoe

Albany, NY”

dumb question from a stupid mufucka. there is no age 4 that my G. my first bm was a rastafari str8 from Jamaica my dude. She smoke a spliff thru givin birth. No lies. Lil mufucka roll a better blunt than his ol man. nex question..

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“What the hell are mids? Back in 07 all my dealer had were mids and he said it’s good shit! Was I getting ripped off by this dick

Tim

Stoughton, MA”

another dumb question. Yes. U got ripped off.if it was 97 I would say it was polly me sellin u some oregano but 07 i was already years in2 my bid. Im gon do u a favor tho. u still smoke bud? I got some real mids I can sell u. get at ur boy. Next question

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“Hey Geoffrey, What are your favorite tunes to listen to when you’re smoking?

Jessica

Worcester, MA”

First of all. Dont use my goverment name!! the fuck is wrong wit u? second I like all type of dope shit 2 listen 2. I fuck wit the classics like bone thugs n cypress hill n devin the dude of course. But this cat I jus started listenin 2 go by the name evilldewer. This dude a sick hip hop producer but it kinda be on some dope psyckadelic type shit 2. I guess some mufuckas would call it experimental hip hop but I jus think it some dope tunes. Every thing dude drop be perfect beats 2 get blunted 2 n polly take some acid or eat mushrooms 2. Check dude out.

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“What is the most awkward thing you ever did while high?” -

I.N.F from CT

So this happen when I was 8. I jus started smoking weed 2. Memba those days when mufuckas would get all paranoyd when u smoke? So the mailman always spend extra time at my crib. He loved my moms. Use 2 bring her a couple loosies n a beer sometime. 1 day I just got in from smoking a joint out back n I hear the mailman yellin shit at mom dukes n she screamin. My high ass run up n open the door n see mr. john the mailman deep dickin my moms. Worst shit I ever seen.

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Salute 2 all my niggas that sent in questions. If yall keep sendin questions ima keep givin yall answers. Catch me nex week.

ASK G FAM: Anonymous - Why is it men will jerk...?

B4 I get started. This is a new thang Im tryin. If u gotta question or need advice hit my DM on facebook or my gram. U can hit my email 2 GEOFFBLACK@MAIL.COM.

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ANONYMOUS : "Why is it men will jerk off to hard penetration porn but won’t jerk off to tranny porn? It’s really like watching two girls fuck n then there’s a dick in the middle it’s pretty cool"

Well I guess we goin all the way in on the first question. I can tell this mufucka been dyin 2 ask someone this question. N thats what Im here 4 my Gs. First things first i had 2 roll up a face blunt like dabbin aladdin do. N shout 2 my niggas on the gram @good2grow_ma that bless me wit a 3.5 of that hit girl to sample. Here go a tip... dont roll all that shit in 1 blunt n try to take it 2 the face.

I never got down wit no tranny porn or no tranny nothing. Except 1 time I was watching 2 bitches scissor fucking. Right when I was bout 2 nut they stopped n 1 of them had a dick. I wasnt diggin that shit at all. I was locked up 4 a decade str8 n still had no type of want 2 fuck a tranny. Dont get it twisted tho. I kno a few real niggas that does. When I was locked up a couple of my Gs fucked this tranny chick name Eddie all the time. Cats wit that life sentence be quick 2 fuck a tranny cuz they got nuttin else 2 work wit. Me ima jus beat my dick 2 pics that hoes was sendin me up there. N lemme get this clear. No 1 get more pics from bitches than a nigga in prison. Str8 up n down. No lies..

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What fuck me up about this question is that the nigga who asked it aint locked up aint never been locked up. He a real one tho so Im like damn am I missing out? How could a real nigga tell me its pretty cool n me just ignore it.

So ur boy went on a adventure str8 2 pornhub 2 do the research. The categories I usually fuck wit is that rough shit. 4 some reason a bitch cryin wit a dick in her butt get me off quick. This time I went 2 the tranny section. First 5 videos I clicked was all tranny bitches fuckin dudes in the ass.. finally I did a search 4 girl on girl tranny porn. I put it up on the TV n what happen next? My BM walk right thru the door. Tried 2 tell the ho I was doin research but she still kicked me out.

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I went right 2 the block n loaded that shit up on my cell phone. Couldnt watch more than 5 minutes. My dick aint get hard not even a tingle. Shit nasty as fuck. Fuck wrong wit the nigga that ask this question? Lucky I dont expose ur nasty ass sun. so in conclusion men dont watch this shit cuz its gay. Most of that shit is dudes wit titties fuckin dudes wit no titties. Sometime it a dude wit titties fuckin a bitch wit titties. I dont like that shit either. Its not cool. N its not the same..

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Hope I help answer ur weird ass fantasy question u fuckin creep. If u gotta problem n need advice or just gotta question 4 me hit me up. As u can see nuttin is off the table n I wont tell no 1 bout yall sick ideas.

Is tipping people with weed the new thing?

Whats good my Gs? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back like Fanny packs. This week ima put u on 2 the best way 2 tip mufuckas. Weed. Bud. Ganja..

I didnt use 2 tip mufuckas nothin til i put a bitch in the strip club n realize thats how these hoes eat. Then I got hip 2 some shit workin door dash that when cats tip u thru the app u only get some of that tip money cuz door dash keep the rest. N some jobs these piece of shits take taxes out. Nah nigga. If Im tippin a mufucka then I want it 2 go 2 them not cracka ass uncle sam..

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So 4 the last 6 months I been tippin mufuckas with weed. I swear heads like tips in weed instead of paper no lies. Ever see a kid face light up in front the tree Christmas morning ? Thats the look niggas give u when u pull out a bag o weed 4 a tip. N most the time I end up gettin somethin free out the deal.

Basicly trial n error I realize that its a dope tip 2 get in most situations but not all situations. Lemme go thru the good n bad experience I had so I can save yall some time.

Any delivery driver weather u order right from the store or be on door dash or uber eats. ALL them cats smoke weed. Thats the only reason they work there most the time. I gave the door dash cat a gram n now this dude calls me ery 2 days n cop a 3.5. Cab drivers uber drivers Lyft. Great way 2 get new clientell.

When I took my BM car 4 a oil change I gave dude a little piece of bubba kush. Dude put thru a coupon 4 ur boy n got that shit half price. Dude said 4 now on just call b4 I go n he got me 4 free. Thats a come up my Gs. I been gettin free shit 4 months. From haircuts 2 subway footlong 2 car wash 2 drinks from the bartender 2 free breakfast at the diner.

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Well not erybody appreciate that bud like other mufuckas. I went 2 the casino wit my nigga leo n we was winnin heavy on the black jack table. After I came up bout 250 i was tryna cash out. I threw a bag at the dealer. Next thing u kno security snatch me up n question me 4 a hour. This nigga leo went n played again wit my chips n lost erything I won n like 200 more of my chips. i hit the nigga in parkin lot wit a crow bar n made the nigga walk home from rhode island when he woke up..

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Was fuckin this white girl that go2 a white church. Bitch had me go 2 church wit her one day. Funny cuz I had my dick in her butt a hour b4 it started.. but they had this part when they pass around a bowl 2 collect money from people. I threw a bag in the plate on some praise the most high shit. Didnt go over well. Priest stopped the whole mass n asked who did it n kick me out. Didnt even get my weed back. Fuck church..

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But yall welcome 4 that n Ill see u next week my Gs.





G FAM BLACK - MUSIC VIDEO REVIEW

Whats good my Gs? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back in ur face like a cumshot. So 4 like a week or more now I been seein Talking Seaweed postin bout this joint called PHASES. All over the gram n the book. There was a trailer 4 this joint but I couldnt tell if it was a cartoon animation type shit or what it was. All I kno shit lookd dope n I was waitin 4 it 2 drop.

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I knew shit dropped on 4/30 so I wantd 2 make that shit special n smoke some oil. The connec all out of oil so I had 2 make my own shit. if yall dont kno here is how u make it.

Get ur BMs hair straightner n plug that shit in 2 heat up. U wanna put shit on a low setting so u aint burning the bud 2 much. Get that paper they put the shatter in. I think it called partridge paper. I took some from my old oil. U put the bud in the paper  n put it on the straightner  n hold it down 4 like 10 second til u hear that shit cookin. Open it up  n take the bud out. Scrape all that shit 2 the middle of the paper n fold it put it in the freezer.

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Put that oil in a blunt wit a gram of blue dream bud n rolled up a wood. Now im ready 4 PHASES..

Now I know what it is. Shit got visual from grand theft auto. This polly gta 10 or some shit. cuz it look better than the last 1 I played wit CJ on grove st. But shit like a dope short film/musical/EP. The dude singin n rappin is name ricky Phillips. His shit on point. No lies. Idk dude but ima work wit the cat some day. dude can sing n spit kinda like how drake or russ be doin but I like this dude ricky better.

The cat that put the video 2gether is rose glen n I been hip 2 his videos. He work wit erybody  n he 1  of the talking seaweed originators. Dont think this gta shit aint the freshest shit either. Its not just like dude used stock footage playin thru the whole time. Nah. This shit fly as fuck my Gs.

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So the soundtrack basically 3 songs playin str8 back 2 back. Ery time a track changes the whole scene be changin. Ery scene fits the track 2. No lies. Shit fit perfect. It seem likie they animated this shit just 4 this EP. There a scene wit bitch that gotta fat ass. I kno it a cartoon. But I would still hit it yo. N b4 u mufuckas talk shit bout me 4 wantin 2 fuck a cartoon ask urself if u ever wantd 2 fuck Jessica rabbit.. if u say no u wack.

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Editing is fire 2. Rose glen put a lot of work in this joint n it shows. I seen 2 parts where I was in this short movie 2. Maybe im in more parts. Maybe im jus high as fuck but u tell me. Dont that look like ur boy? Go watch this shit n tell me how many times u see me in there. Here go the link. Catch me in a week.

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G Fam Black - George's Easter Themed 420 Party

Whats poppin my Gs? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back like that rash u thought u got rid of. We comin off 420 weekend and what a dope fuckin weekend it was. I linked wit my boy George 4 the dopest 420 celebration ever. My nigga George do it big ery 420 but this year was stupid dope. He made it a 420 celebration wit that Easter theme. I showed up dress like the Easter bunny at 9 am 2 help him get shit 2gether.

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We had a dope brunch planned out 4 all the homies and I helped mufuckas cook the cannibutter. I fried a gang of bacon 2 and made scrambled eggs. By the time shit was ready there was 24 of us. We not Mass Cannabis Chefs but we did kill it. Who dont want medicated eggs and bacon 4 Easter brunch? Well Jewish and Muslim people dont but other than that erybody loves that shit. We had a whole table full of shit 2 eat and we all went in.

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We had a grown folk version of a easter egg hunt planned 2. We filled the little plastic eggs wit all type of shit. We had some wit liquor nips we had some wit bud in em. We had a couple wit the little chocolate bar edibles in em 2. But the jackpot egg had a ball of coke in it. We filled them up and then george and his bitch went 2 hide em outside.

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When they was hidin the eggs I set up a seat and let all the bitches line up 2 take a pic wit ya boy the easter bunny. One thing george got is a lotta bad bitches 4 friends. His chick a stripper so she invited a gang of sluts from her work. That was polly the best part of the day. Wit ery pic I got a lapdance 2. There was 1 white bitch name Chantelle. Little skinny broad that came thru in her panties. I had me this big rubber carrot 4 a prop and I told bitch that it was a butt plug. U kno this slut gon take her panties off n ask if it fits??? I shoved that shit up there pretty deep but no way the whole thing was gon fit..

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After that we did the easter egg hunt. Chantelle found 7 wit nips in em and drank em as she found em. Bitch got back 2 the house drunk than a muthafucka. She took me 2 the downstair bathroom and took dick like a pro. She made a nigga cum quick even tho bitch was loose as fuck. Had 2 go back Monday wit a plan b. Dont need no more little G fams runnin round. Thats it 4 this week. Catch yall some time next week.

G Fam's Gift Guide to 4/20.

Ayo whats good my Gs? Its ur favorit pothead since Bob Marley back at it again. We comin up on the best holiday of the year. The one all my pothead niggas love the most. 420. The day we all call off work and do dabs smoke blunts and eat edibles all day.

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MUFUCKAS kno me 4 robberies but Ery year I give a few gifts out 2 a few of my tight weedsmokin niggas on 420. 2day ima go thru some of the dopest shit 2 give a pothead 4 420. Im gettin all this shit 4 my Gs.

I got these 3 hoes jasmine diana and Sarah that put on shows 4 niggas when they order a stripper from me. They all get on they knees and eat each other ass in a circle. These bitches have dudes throwin paper at them all night. I usually make a few stacks when I send em all out 2 a bachelor party. I call that shit the human centipede.

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So last week i was at the east side smoke shop and found this human centipede glass pipe. That shit perfect 4 these hoes. There was 4 of them pipes there but they was $70 each. Fuck that. I seen a junkie on the block and gave him a couple jums 2 take them all 4 me. Stupid mufucka broke one but I still had 3 so I could give em 2 the hoes. Aint never gave my hoes shit so I kno they gon dig these mufuckin gifts real talk.

One of the only niggas I smoke bud wit besides hoes is my nigga Z. Dude drives an old ass 2 door chevy beretta with no front passenger seat. He sometime take me 2 make some plays and I always spark some kush wit him when we ride.

Im that nigga that smoke dumb weed all day but never have a lighter. N u kno how that be when u borrow a lighter from a nigga when u smoking. U never give that shit back. I took like 20 lighters from this dude the last few months.

This year I found a $3 gift 4 dude that gonna save him $50 in lighters ery couple months. Its called a lighter leash. Shit made 4 the weedsmokers as u can see. Next time I borrow that shit it gon be on a string so he gets it back. Next year ima get this dude a passenger seat so I dont sit on a milk crate in the passenger side of his ride no more.

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i got this older white bitch that gotta kid same age as mines. I take my kid 2 the bus stop sometime and ery time I do this broad Angela try 2 holla at me in some flip flops. 1 time I took her up on her offer n went 2 her crib. Bitch sucked the soul out my dick. U kno I went back a few times. She cant get enough of that Vitamin d. So 4 this bitch ima get her some weed socks 4 her dirty ass feet n a weed lollipop 2 suck on when my dick aint around.

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My G Leo got out of prison a couple months back n dude needed a job. He needed a suit 2 go 2 his interview. So me bein the nice nigga I am I got him a suit. U kno this dumb mufucka went n got locked up again 4 smackin his girl? So fuck it. I got myself this bangin new suit. Shit 2 tight but ima make it work.

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If ne of yall wanna get me a gift just get me some weed. Thats the only gift I want. Unless u a bad bitch just gimme some pussy. Ill see u next week my Gs.

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Knock Knock : It's G Fam Black

Whats good my Gs? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back in ur face like a cumshot.i took a week off 2 pay respect 2 the OG neighborhood nip hussle. Shit hit a nigga hard. Salute 2 his wife n seeds n a big fuck u 2 kodak black. No relation. But like nipsey say the marathon continues..

This week ima let u kno about my newest hussle. Door dash. My first BM got a new ride a couple weeks back so basically I got a new ride a couple weeks back. First thing I did was sign up 2 work 4 door dash. The bread aint much but its a good lil bonus when u drivin round all day neways droppin off bags of kush

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That shit is the first reason I took this fuckin job. If I come 2 someone door wit a door dash bag full of bud n cartridges they neighbors aint gon think twice about it. If a young cat need a bag but they live wit moms it be a lot easier 2 walk in wit a door dash bag. Perfect  solution. I stock the bag up beginin of the day wit erything I need. If I run out of stock I jus stop back at the crib n refill.

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I showed u how 2 pass a drug test in a earlier article but u dont even need that 4 this shit. no drug test at all 2 work 4 door dash. N its the type of job that go perfect 4  a pothead like me 2. Drivin round smokin bud all day is what I love 2 do. N ery time I drop food off 2 mufuckas its a chance of a new customer. Erybody want these dankwoods they sell themselves.

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A nigga bagged plenty of pussy this way 2. No lies. Who orders door dash? Bitches wit no car. Bitches wit kids that aint tryna pack em all up 2 get tacos. These the bitches right up G FAMS alley. With ery order I throw my business card in the bag. bitches go head n holla 4 some dingaling. Dudes yall go head n holla 4 bud.

And the last reason I fuck wit door dash? Free food. Who dont like free food? When Im workin door dash I never buy food that day. mufuckas mostly order fast food. Mcdonalds burger king wendys chick falay. They not gon notice if u take some fries out they box. Who gon notice if I sip a lil bit out that milkshake? No body thats who. U order a foot long from subway? U be lucky if that shit 9 inches when u get it. I always help myself 2 a taste. Its only right u feel me?

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So far this shit payin off 4 me. Movin more bud then I ever did. Try different food ery day. bag a few hoes out the deal. Plus ne one who dont gimme a tip next time they order I put the tip in they drink. The tip of my dick. Just the tip. Catch me here in bout a week.

  • G FAM BLACK

Baggin' bitches at the grocery store with G Fam Black.

What it is my Gs? Its ur BMs favorite rapper G FAM BLACK back in ur browser like pornhub. I gotta question 4 u mufuckas right now. Whats ur favorite shit 2 do when u smoked the fuck out?? 1 , 2 , 3 ..BAG BITCHES! Yeah me 2 !

u not catchin me in no club buyin bitches drinks tho. N just cuz u see me smokin dont think u smokin my weed neither. Nah I bag hoes in practical ways. favorite spot. Grocery store. The easiest n funnest way 2 pick up hoes.

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So if u kno me by now u kno Im not the pickiest cat in the kennel so my aim b low. Better chances my Gs. im lookin 4 bitches that would fuck wit a G in a ski mask. No standards. Im scopin the isles lookin for bitches buyin they kids that cheap cereal in a bag n that off brand shit.

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if u lookin 4 white bitches all u need 2 do is relate 2 em. ALWAYS have mayo in ur carrage. Talk 2 em bout food they like. Green bean casserole.  Mash potato. Fancy mac n cheese.  Matter fact fancy cheese all 2gether. i found out years ago white folk love them some cheeses. DONT get caught wit any spices in ur shit. that gon intimidayte em. If u never been 2 a white cookout jus trust they got the most plain tastin food in the world. they potato salad dont even taste like potato salad..

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Always look 4 a bitch wit kids. The more seeds the better. Right now is tax season my Gs. We all need a bitch wit kids that we can claim on our taxes. Check out is the number 1 spot u wanna pay attention n b on ur A1 game. Get near one of the hoes is bonus point cuz u out here smellin like freshly smoked kush. Sometime I walk around wit a zip open in my pocket. Ery one of us kno that shit right there is the best colone 2 any broke bitch. Str8 afrodeeziac. Not only that u wana pay attention 2 how she paying for them items.

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Regular cash money or debit. Nah ima pass that 1 up for a bitch using wic or ebt if there is 1 around. Now thats A game material. Never met a bitch on ebt I cant fuck. No lies. Plus u kno the bitch gonna have a fridge stock full of food. Look for bitches wit good food  2 cuz u r gonna b eating this ho food for a while. Me i like 2 look 2 see if them hoes getting breakfast food. Eggs n turkey bacon I might put a ring on it.

But the jackpot is a chick paying wit 1s. chances is that she strip for paper. No morals. Fucks 4 bread. That the type of ho I want 2 recruit. Soon that stack of 1s gon be my rent $$$.  U might catch me help bitch put away her groceries in her car 2 b4 I slip her my math n b out. Hope yall mufuckas put this shit to use. Trust I got mad more spots too. I will put u on another time. Catch me here in a week.

- G Fam Black

How do you celebrate St. Patricks Day if you're not irish?

Whats poppin my Gs? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back like I never left. We comin up on white peoples favorite holiday. St patricks day. The day where ery white boy n girl in the whole mufuckin country claim that 2% Irish that they all a sudden proud of.

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Ery body wanna drink Guinness n jameson on st Patrick day but not me. First time I drank jameson I got a bitch pregnant. The second time I drank that nasty shit I got arrested. Never again. N why Guinness so fuckin thick 4? Shit feel like drinkin a milkshake. One of them real thick joints from shake shack not that mcdonalds fuckery.

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Bein from the Boston area i be seein mad Irish mufuckas out here. They say there like 10 times more Irish in America than Ireland n I believe that 100. Mufuckas in Ireland aint even celebrate that holiday til like 50 years ago. They call st Patrick the patron saint of Ireland but mufuckas dont even celebrate wit patron. Make no sense. So for st Patrick day this year ima do what I do ery year. Sit in front of big fuckin bowl of weed n smoke til I knock the fuck out.

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N how stupid is yall neways. St patrick from britain so calm ur ol green pump thru my vains talkin ass down. Dude aint chase no fuckin snakes out of ireland. Wasnt none there in the first got damn place. He just turnt erybody religion to christian over there. How tf is that ok? Mufuckin cult leader gets his own holiday? Get all the way the fuck outa here..

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Shout 2 my real Irish famm out there but 4 me on this holiday u aint catchin me drinkin green beer or green jellow shots. Im not wearing green n not sippin patron OR jameson. N fuck corn beef cabbage. Ima be smoking that green cabbage tho. Some of the finest flower on the east coast. No lies. Im not goin 2 no fuckin parade n sure as fuck not looking for a leperchaun. I will be chasing that pot of gold tho. U kno my motto boys n girls no days off. Always get money.

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Ill be back here next week. N here go a gift 2 all the GFAMILIA out there worldwide. Friday March 15 u can get my new single 4 free download on my bandcamp. Shit is called BECKY FROM THE STUDIO n it features erybodys favorite asshole MORONEY n CLOAQXDAGGER on the prod. Its bout a bitch name Becky that hit me up and came thru the stu one night. Its a gift from me 2 u. Yall welcome.

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TRIPPY: Do you ever see yourself in someone elses art?

Yo whats poppin my Gs? Its ur brother from another mufucka. G FAM BLACK! Salute 2 all the real 1s that been checkin in ery week since day 1 n biggup all the new readers long the way.

So if u hip then u kno i showed u how 2 get in2 the aquarium dumb cheep. Im bout 2 take u on EBT adventure #2. The museum of fine arts in boston. Shout out 2 all my bean town 617 cats.

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Rewind..1 of my cellmate years back was name paul. Cool mufuckin white boy. Not only did this white boy get me in2 art but dude got me rappin. A lotta heads dont kno that. Some way this dude stay wit weed ery night. Had the art supplies always makin art shit 4 dudes 2 send 2 they BMs n they brake him off wit weed.

Dude would have me up late smokin tryna draw but I wasnt nice. Had me freestyln 2 high af. One thing bout Paul is he had 5 or 6 hoes always writin him. He even gave me a couple hoes that was writin me letters n takin my calls.

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Fas 4ward Im outta prison n im fuckin this broad tracy who told me that wit my EBT I can get in2 the museum of fine arts in boston 4 only $3. I was bout it so we went. 4 all u cats saying that shit sound lame yall trippin. Shit fun as fuck my Gs. Art is just what u do when u high weather u draw rap whatever. U preciate it more 2.

Trust ur man G FAM on this 1. Yall need 2 do what we did rollup n bring a blunt wit u. We smoked that shit on the steps in front the spot. We drank some ice tea on the way up 2 that had thc in it. When we walked in the door that shit hit me. I was so lit I kept seein myself in the art. No lies..

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Yo that spot is lit tho n we aint even see the whole thing. We did see a gang of paintings some old shit from egypt n korea. We was in there u kno i was real outa place but I made the best of that $3. Went in the room wit the 3 budas n fucked tracy in there. Shit was a all day event 4 $3 n I got pussy. I recomend all yall try it. Act like u or ur BM dont got ebt cards. Fuck outa here..

 aint even tell u the best part of the story. Paul served his mufuckin time n he back on the street. We link last weekend n drank those white people expensive type beers. Dude dont smoke bud no more but he smash more pussy than a little bit. He the only cat I kno that turn down more pussy than he takes. N just like when was lockdown he broke me off wit a couple hoes out here on the street. Salute my nigga paul.

N biggup all my worldwide G FAM fans all over the globe. I asked yall 2 draw me. Ery 1 of yall young n old that sent me that famm art yall the the real mvps. From the nigga that drew me on a dirty pizza box 2 the nigga that had his sun draw me n erybody else salute. Catch me back in the same place in a week.

  • G Fam Black

When you run out of weed...

Whats good my Gs its ur boy G FAM BLACK back in ur face like a dingaling.

Yo im bout 2 start doin what the og triple og Dabbin Aladdin aka the muthafuckin CHAMP do. Bout 2 start jus smokin face blunts. Im sick of smoking wit people. how come Im the only mufucka wit bud on deck n there be a bunch of hoes or ho ass niggas round me tryna smoke. FUCK THAT.

First. mufuckas dont even kno how 2 smoke.. how I roll my weed in my fuckin dutch n yall niggas holdin my shit like it ur personal cigaret. The fuck wrong wit u? then u got the mufuckas that put half the fuckin blunt in they mouth when they hit that shit. where u learn that shit from?? U really tryna hand my shit back wet n sloppy?  4 now on if u hit my blunt 2 much or u  im chargin u 4 that shit. fuck out my face wit that bullshit. U wet my blunt up? I pass it back 2 u n then u pass me $20 or u can get these hands. Facts.

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What bout the cats that be sitin nex 2 the ashtray but hand u that shit wit a big ass ash on it? U better ash that shit. u get ash on mom duke rugs she will slap u. n the nigga that hit the blunt hard af n get that shit all hot. Then it burn down half the fuckin blunt on one side. Nigga u better lick that shit. so u telling me u lick bootyhole but cant lick that canoe 2 stop that shit?? n dont even get me started on smoking frontos n woods wit heads.

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Which brings me 2 the nex topic. Rolling. Why cant u mufuckas roll?? The worst person in the world is a mufucka that smoke bud but cant roll up. Theres racists then child molesters then people who cant roll. No lies I hate you. How u claim pothead but cant roll. Dont tell me u smoke out a pipe so u dont need 2 kno. Go 2 youtube n watch a muthafuckin demo. If my ass can go on youtube 2 learn how 2 tie a tie for court u can learn 2 roll.

Ever smoke a fronto wit a nigga that cant roll?? Mufucka hit the blunt twice n  hand u the fuckin blunt half unrolled?? The fuck u want me 2 do wit this shit? u had 2 kno u wrong 2 pass me this shit witout fixin it right?

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I dont even wanna bitch that cant roll. My last bitch use 2 roll some ugly shit up for me b4 I came thru. Never seen bitch roll till 1 day seen her put the weed in the dutch on the table then she tried 2 fold that shit over. not only was that shit dumb ugly..bitch spilled more than half the fuckin bud n jus threw it in the trash. Fuck that when I get home I wanna dutch rolled proper so I can smoke that shit while my bitch suck my dick.

Im polly comin off xtra vex cuz a nigga fresh outta weed. Someone dm me on the gram n bring me a bag @gfamblack. Catch u in a week.

  • G Fam Black

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These apps will give you FREE food just for signing up.

What's poppin my slimes? Its ur muthafucking dude G fam black. if yall muthafuckas r nething like me then u spend all ur bread on weed, liquor n drugs. I ain't got much in the budget 4 food. The days of walking round the food court at the mall 5 times 4 free samples is over. no bitches wanna do that many laps n still give the pussy up. No lies.

At the same time im not gonna take a meal n some vagina over a fat bag of kush. Funny thing is after I smoke all I wanna do is eat n chase pussy.. so I got this list of places 2 get free food n shit from. Lemme school u mufuckas 2 some of the free shit I be getting.

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Papa Ginos got that fire pizza. N that shit pricey 2. Here go how u get free pizza from them. Download that app n make a account. Make ur g day the next month.  A week b4 ur g day they gon email u n give u a code 4 a free small pizza. all u gotta do is order on the app n put in that code. Boom free pie. Take a bitch wit u. bitches love pizza.dont tell her it was free. she gon think she has 2 let u hit cuz u took her out n she right. Now go head n make 12 accounts n make ur g day a month away 4 each one. Now u get a free pizza ery month.

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Another spot where u can get free shit in mcdolands. N I don’t wanna hear niggas saying that shit aint healthy. Fuck u mean it aint healthy?? My president eat this ery day n according 2 his doc he in great shape.

So u wanna eat presidential meals? download that mcdonald app. Mufuckas give u discount ery day but on Friday u get that free fries coupon. Mcdonalds is good but its even better when its free. no lies. U can catch me ery Friday goin thru the drive thru 3 times in a row. 1 time wit my phone n 2 more times wit my bitches phones.

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Wanna free slurpy? Get that 711 app my niggas. u get a free slurpy soon as u download the app then u get points erytime u buy shit. We got this lil nigga Jordan on the block that do whatever niggas tell him 2 do cuz he pussy. We be sending this nigga 2 the store 4 blunts n drink n shit. dude use his app ery time n like ery 4 or 5 days he get a free hot dog. When this pussy nigga come back on the block wit the hotdog niggas be clowning tho. Jordan eat a hotdog like thotty bitches suck a dick.. u can get a free slushy at Sonic 4 signin up 2. They food taste like doo doo but them slushys is flames.

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This aint even scratchin the surface of the free shit I be getting. We could be here all day talkin bout free shit. but that is enough 2 get u started. N I almost 4got.. u hear talking seaweed is up 4 like 4 NECANN awards? Make sure u vote at the link down there. See yall in a week.

You can vote right here: VOTE!

- G FAM Black

G Fam Black - Black History Month

What up my Gs?? It's that time of the year again. Black history month. A time when we reflect on them mufuckas that paved the way b4 us so we can do what we do in 2019.

U got heroes like the bishop Don magic Juan who help put pimpin on the map. That nigga right there inspired my uncle Douglas 2 sell my aunty pussy when times was tuff. That's what put me on 2 pimpin. SALUTE the OG pimp. My G made it cool 2 be flashy. Matter fact here go a pic of uncle douglas from back in the day wit my aunty n some other bitch. Lotta niggas say I look jus like him.

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Another 1 of my heroes is the original freeway ricky ross. This is the nigga who brought crack 2 the hood. My nigga was a kingpin 2. he like the real life Nino Brown. Fuck scarface. Ricky ross a OG. This Nigga got cake n when they put him in prison my nigga got life in 96. 2009 my g gets out n writes a auto biography. Dude such a g that rappers freeway n rick ross both took half his name.

Some of u kno some dont but I got black history in my own fuckin DNA no lies. My grandpops name Earl Blackwell was a boss. Brother smoked a ounce ery 2 days. Had a gang of rollin papers. 1 day my grandmom cauht this dude laid up in bed wit a hooker n she threw all his weed n papers out. He had a lil stash but no papers so he made a pipe out of a apple. This bef any of u mufuckas even heard of that. Dude a fuckin genius.

Here was a old poloaroid of him n the pipe. Kept that mufucka 4 like 2 weeks til that bitch rotted out. He never used papers again. Any fruit u think of he smoke out of no lies. Bananas grapefruits tomatos erything. SALUTE the og legend.

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Another one of my grandpop inventions was the sploof.  well that what he called it. Most college kids used this when they smoke bud in they dormroom . Its basically what u use 2 keep the weed smell out ur room. He had 2 use this back in the day when my grandmom had company.

Its ez af 2 make. take a toilet paper rooll n stick 3 dryer sheets in that mufucka n put elastic around it on the outside.  Ery time u take a hit blow the smoke in2 the tp roll n it come out smellin like downy.  again genius

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So that my 2 cent bout black history month. Make sure yall bigup the cats that pave the way 4 us. N that dont matter if u dark skin lite skin or white. Even the pastiest ginger out there has black folk 2 thank. catch u mufuckas in a week.

  • G FAM BLACK

G FAM BLACK - VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL.

What's hood my Gs? Its ur favorite pothead back at it. We comin up on valentines day n I kno most of yall slacker mufuckas ain't got ur nigga or ur bitch nothin yet. What the fuck do we get 4 that pothead person we fuckin? Me? I dont get them hoes shit. But here go some ideas 4 yall soft mufuckas

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Bitches love choclates. U kno what they like more?? Weed.. All different kinds of weed. Best shit 2 do is buy them choclates wrapped in them gold wrappers. That fancy shit. Unwrap all them thangs n take the choclate out. Put all different kinds of weed in them bitches wit labels saying what kind it is. Some bitch got me this 4 my coming home party from prison n I smoked good n fucked good. 4 a week. Almost gave the bitch a baby.

Know what else bitches like ? Flowers. Roses? Nope. Weed flowers. If you grow or kno a grower u wanna get some branches wit dried bud on them. Trim them up really nice n then wrap em up wit some dope ribbons n shit. Flowers gon get u pussy but a weed bouquet gon get u a 3some wit her bad ass friend. That's a G FAM BLACK gaurantee.

So what do yall bitches get 4 us dudes ? I just mentioned it. A 3some wit ur bad ass homegirl. But if u don't get down like that I gotta back up plan. They got these blunt wraps made outta 24k gold made by Shine. What's more baller than smoking a gold blunt filled wit some fire bud? Nothin..

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Pick up a 2 pack of these gold blunts 4 about $50. I know bitches cant roll blunts so holla at 1 of ur brothers or ur side nigga n ask him 2 roll it up. Give ur man a gold blunt wit good enough weed in it n he might even eat that stink mitten 4 u.

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If ur nigga play golf then I got another ill type gift u can get him. Shit called the pitch N Puff combo pack. 2 the untrained eye shut just look like a golf ball n a tee. But wait theres more.. the golf ball opens up as a weed stash n the tee is a 1 hitter pipe. This shit perfect 4 when ur man on the course doin business wit mufuckas who dont smoke. Take a lil trip in2 the bushes 4 the ball n take a few hits. That gon put him in a better mood n more chance of making the sale no lies.

Last but not least u gotta get the kids them little shitty valentines day cards 2 give out at class. Dumb shit like spongebob n spiderman. U polly out of money by now so here goes something even better..

Take this pic down 2 the libary. Get on they computer n print out 50 of them on the color printer they got down there. Cut these joints out n now ur kid got valentine cards 4 the whole class even they teacher. Also it's free so u savin paper. Just dont let the libary people see what u printing. Now that yall know what 2 get ur people u can relax n just work on getting that 3some. Catch yall in a week.

- G Fam Black

Why so many strains of weed?

What's good in the hood my G's?? U ever notice how many kinds of weed there is out there? Back in the day it was mids, kind bud, n hydro. Niggas ain't kno the kind of fuckin weed it was. Now u can get a different kind of bud 4  ery occasion. They indicas 2 put u 2 bed, they got sativas 2 keep u up n make u creative n erything in between.

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I liked that shit at first but it got annoying quick. I'm just tryna get high my G's what the fuck?? Some of the strains 2day in 2019 just got stupid names. Here is a few that I came across in the last year.

1. Purple Monkey Balls

Yo if it wasnt the only bud that I could smoke that night I wouldnt even smoke it. Ain't no nigga tryna have monkey balls on they lips. Who named this shit??

 I met this bitch on instagram named Suzy n she go 2 UMass Dartmouth. Caught a ride from my nigga n went 2 see the broad. Bitch tells me that her boy Brendan got the best weed on campus n we go get a bag. This whiteboy only had 1 kind. Purple Monkey Balls. N since it was on a campus we paid 50  a eighth.

Shit str8 tasted like grape jolly ranchers. Dumb fuckin sweet. Shit made my blood sugar go up. We smoked a couple grams out a big Glass bong this bitch had in her closet. First reason I hate this shit is the name. Second reason is cuz I got mad paranoid. We took a walk on campus n erybody was staring at me. Suzy said its cuz the ski mask but idk. Once we got back 2 her dorm room a nigga was tired af. That bring me 2 the 3rd reason I hate this shit. I fell the fuck out 4  12 hours str8 my Gs. I didnt even get no pussy. N this bitch Suzy a bad 1. I woke up next day n this bitch was still passed out. I called my nigga n left. 4 got the rest of the weed in her dorm. So I paid $50 an eighth n all I did was smoke half, sleep, n leave the rest there n got no pussy..

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2. Charlie Sheen

Funny thing bout this one is that I smoked it with a white stripper name sinamin that does porn. I wouldnt call the bitch a porn star. She just a thot but it was mean 2 be that I smoked it with her.

Sinamin smelled weed on me in the strip club n told me she wanted 2 smoke wit the God. She had this shit from the dispensary called Charlie Sheen. 2 me that shit smelled n taste like lemon chemicals. Shit was like smoking the air freshener we got at the car wash. Terrible. The good thing I liked about this one is that it gave me energy. I helped this bitch vacume out her car n erything. At least this time I got my dick sucked.

3. White Girl

This ain't that white girl u thinking bout tho. Cant sniff this. (But if u need that get at me) This is bud called white girl n it was nasty. I hate it mostly cuz the name. I get it tho. It's a hybrid, Berry White n Girl Scout Cookie. Niggas couldnt called it white cookie tho?? Or Berry Scout??

Anyways this shit I smoked on 4/20 when my boy came back from Seattle. It tasted like str8 shit. My nigga told me he brought it back by sticking it up his ass n getting in the plane. Idk if it smell like shit cuz that how it smell or cuz it was up his ass 4 like 6 hours.

The high was A1 tho. Niggas smoked 3 blunts. Shit had me on my munchies shit. Ate 2 large mac n cheese orders from KFC n 6 biscuits. Niggas smoked so much I had 2 call in 2 work n then mufuckas fired me.

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So since theres all type of names 4 bud I want someone 2 name bud after me. Whoever come up wit strains of weed I want one named after me called G FAM BLACK KUSH. I'll sell u the right 2 use my name 4  10 stacks n a pound of the bud. Any takers get at me on facebook or instagram. N if u ain't copped my album yet go head n do that 4 only $5. Check u in a week. Gfamblack.bandcamp.com

  • G FAM BLACK

Curious about cannabis edibles?

Whats good my Gs? G FAM BLACK here 2 put my peoples on 2 a new hustle. If you are just like me n work minimum wage then u always lookin 4 a new way 2 get them greenbacks.

Edibles. We all had them mufuckas at 1 time or another. back in the day they had brownies n cookies. Now they b havin all type of shit gummy beers, lemonaide , fruit rollup, gum n some more shit. U notice now that weed legal in mass u got all type of mufuckas comin out the woodwork ain’t never smoked but now they on that edible wave.

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U kno I picked up on that shit early. i get my foodstamps first of the month n I take jasmine 2 market basket 2 pick out some cookie mixes. Not only can this bitch cook crack n boost. she can make some bomb cookies n she suck a mean dick. She be recruitin bitches 2 the stable 2 but enough of that. I let this bitch bake up bout 300 cookies. she do that shit all day. when they all cool off she bag em up.

Me n jasmine start hittin all the spots where them soccer moms be at. trader joes, starbucks, whole foods. Most the time jasmine sell a lot more then me cuz these white folks be scary bout buying shit from a nigga in a ski mask. We sell them $5 a cookie or 3 cookies 4 $10. We make at least a stack in 2 days. 1 day 2 cook them 1 day 2 sell them. It usually take all day n bout 8 or even 12 stores or more but that all profit. Ain’t no fuckin weed in them cookies. n these dumb bitches ain’t kno no better. Shit we get repeat custees ery month n they brag bout how good they are.

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We stand right out the door like them little kids sellin girlscout cookies. we use 2 set up a table but that shit draw more attention so dont do that. best thing is when the pigs show up they cant do shit. U gon arrest me 4 oatmeal cookies? fuck out my face piglet.

this shit is all profit n more fun than a stick up. Every time I get at least 1 or 2 white bitches number. U can tell they the type that never fucked a black dude but always been curius if the rumors is true. Ill tell u 1 thing. Nothin like fuckin a 40 year old white bitch in her California king mattres wit the 1000 thread count sheets while they sucka type husband at work. 4 some reason that pussy always get wetter.

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I just helped yall niggas out but ima tell u 1 thing. U bag up ur cookies n see me standin outside a trader joes u gota find another spot. I always got the pistol n I will turn this shit 2 the OK Coral if you on my turf no lies. Catch u in a week.

  • G FAM BLACK

HOW TO PASS A DRUG TEST...

My Gs what's good? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back 2 learn you somethin. This time I'm talkin bout drug tests.

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Why they do drug tests in the first place. I can do erything high. Drive , work, school, any muthafuckin thing no lies. Niggas even made shit legal n they still testin niggas 4 bud? What part of the game is that? Shit stupid. I can sniff a ball n piss clean in 2 days but I smoke a blunt I cant piss clean 4 a month?

Just got a job at the car wash n this dude tell me I need 2 take a piss test. I hit my nigga Sam up cuz he kno how 2 pass that shit. He told me 2 use fake piss. Didnt think that would work at first but it do.

First things first go buy the fake piss. U can get it online or at most smoke shops n vape shops n shit. Jus walk in n ask 4 fake piss n they will give it 2 you. Shit called Quick Fix plus n it cost $40 but worth it 2 get the job. It comes wit a bottle of fake piss wit temperature on the side , elastic, n hand warmer. They put all the chemicals in it that real piss got in it 4 niggas n bitches.

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On ur way 2 the test tell ur uber driver 2 put the bottle of fake piss on the defrost in they car n turn the heat all the way up. Make sure the temp get up 2 like 98 degrees or more. Take the bottle n tuck that shit under ur nutsac so it stay body temp. Bitches tuck it in up in  ur pussyhole.

Sometime it take them a while 2 call ur name if it's a walk in so u polly wanna make appointment wit them. 4 mines i didnt make appointment n i waited like 45 min. Long as shit tucked good u gon keep it close 2 that temp.

When they call u in 2 piss make sure u check the temp on the side of the bottle cuz it gotta be over 90 degrees n under 100 degrees. You might wanna piss 4 real in the toilet a little so it seem more real. They keep the toilet broke so u cant flush. Squirt that shit in the piss cup n give it 2 the bitch n u good. Make sure u take the quick fix bottle wit u cuz they be checkin the trash cans there. Few days later u get a call saying that u passed n u good. Simple shit.

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Idk wtf the handwarmer is 4 but I just give it 2 one of the people waiting in line at the methadone clinic down the street from my crib. They be out there 4 a hour sometimes more 4 that fix. The company say that this shit ain't made 4 drug tests just cuz they got 2 cuz it aint legal. So wtf is it 4?? It says its novelty piss 4 fetish purposes. Really tho? $40?? I pissed on a few hoes in my day n it's free. Ain't no 1 paying $40 2 squirt fake piss on someone.. Plus they wouldn't sell it at a smoke shop if it was 4 that it would be at a porno store.

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Either way u just passed ur test n now u gotta job. Even if its Walmart or a car wash u gon make that $40 back the first day. Shit wont replace ur hustle but a guarantee check ery week gon help u out when theres a drought. If this shit dont work 4 ne of u bitches just hit me up. I got some side work 4 u til the next job come along. See yall mufuckas in a week.

  • G FAM BLACK

How does the girl who “doesn't pay for weed” get her weed?

What's poppin my peoples? It's that nigga G FAM BLACK back at it like a crack addict. 

This week I wanna talk bout bitches. Specially bitches who smoke weed but say they dont pay 4 it. The worst kind. How come every hoe these days say they ain't pay 4 tree? Cuz they hoes. No lies. If ur homegirl say she dont pay 4 tree but always got some then she suckin or fuckin 4 it. That's 100% factual in every case. No lies. If ur bitch ass smokin hoes up 4 free then u gettin played. 

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When bitches meet me at the club n see me smokin blunt after blunt some gas they be quick to float me they number. Every bitch wanna nigga to smoke em up. They in 4 a suprise when they hit me to link n ain't shit rolled up. 

I got this one hoe I met name Crystal. White girl. Swear she got some magic pussy. Bitch think she can send me nudes n ima smoke wit her without fuckin. I dont fuckin think so. Ain't no pics got me comin out my pocket wit bread or bud. Specially if they ain't fuckin or suckin. I got something 4 all them crystals out there. Shit is called Foria. This shit is a weed edible lubricant! This shit was made 4 Crystal. 

Next time Crystal hit u up to get high u tell her to swing thru the spot. When bitch show up n see u sitting there wit ur dick out n that bottle on the table she gon be confuse. That's when u let her kno. U ain't got no bud but u got edibles. U spray that Foria on ur dick n let her kno she gotta suck a nigga dick to get lit.

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If u gotta Crystal that dont suck dick tell her to spray that on her sausage wallet. Then u can beat it up while she get high. If ur Crystal is anything like my Crystal u wanna strap up wit a magnum. Trust u not the first nigga to smash to get her high no matter how many times she say she dont normally do this. 

If u anything like my nigga Sam then u like a bitch to lick ur ass. Sometime a bitch act funny when u ask her. No worries my Gs. When Crystal come thru to get high u wanna spray that shit on ur ass n let that bitch go to work. If a bitch wanna get high enough she gon lick that ass clean. Bitch might find out she like eating ass after all. Now u doing her a service 2. It might b weird the first time but I promise nex time Crystal come thru to get high she gonna be ready to eat ass. 

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Of course if u tryin to trick a bitch you can get those cannadom condoms. They colored green n they smell n taste like weed. These joints ain't getting u high tho but the Crystals out there dont kno that shit. Tell her the longer she suck that dick the higher she gon get. This 4 niggas that take a grip to nut. After u buss just tell her it take time to kick in n show her the door. If u plan on seeing the bitch again u dont wanna use this tactic cuz she not gon get high n u prolly not gon get that again. 

Theres other products u can try 2. They got infused whip cream n chocolate n cherry sauce. U can cop it at the dispensary or make it urself. I stick my dick right in the jar n let a bitch suck that shit off. Or if you my nigga Sam u put that shit right on ur ass n let a bitch do work. 

Ur welcome. I'll catch yall muthafucks in a week. EZ

  • G FAM BLACK

Copyright Talking Seaweed 2019