Talking Seaweed


Talking Seaweed is a cannabis lifestyle brand founded on the East coast in 2018. Through multi-media, comedy and live events Talking Seaweed is not only giving the entire industry a platform to laugh, learn and reach everyday consumers, but we’re also consistently influencing and defining the East coast cannabis lifestyle. From producing full length (Netflix style) series’, to podcasts, to professional photography, TS delivers high quality, consistent content while fully immersing themselves in the cannabis industry and culture.

...Sorry for wasting your time.

How does the girl who “doesn't pay for weed” get her weed?

What's poppin my peoples? It's that nigga G FAM BLACK back at it like a crack addict. 

This week I wanna talk bout bitches. Specially bitches who smoke weed but say they dont pay 4 it. The worst kind. How come every hoe these days say they ain't pay 4 tree? Cuz they hoes. No lies. If ur homegirl say she dont pay 4 tree but always got some then she suckin or fuckin 4 it. That's 100% factual in every case. No lies. If ur bitch ass smokin hoes up 4 free then u gettin played. 


When bitches meet me at the club n see me smokin blunt after blunt some gas they be quick to float me they number. Every bitch wanna nigga to smoke em up. They in 4 a suprise when they hit me to link n ain't shit rolled up. 

I got this one hoe I met name Crystal. White girl. Swear she got some magic pussy. Bitch think she can send me nudes n ima smoke wit her without fuckin. I dont fuckin think so. Ain't no pics got me comin out my pocket wit bread or bud. Specially if they ain't fuckin or suckin. I got something 4 all them crystals out there. Shit is called Foria. This shit is a weed edible lubricant! This shit was made 4 Crystal. 

Next time Crystal hit u up to get high u tell her to swing thru the spot. When bitch show up n see u sitting there wit ur dick out n that bottle on the table she gon be confuse. That's when u let her kno. U ain't got no bud but u got edibles. U spray that Foria on ur dick n let her kno she gotta suck a nigga dick to get lit.


If u gotta Crystal that dont suck dick tell her to spray that on her sausage wallet. Then u can beat it up while she get high. If ur Crystal is anything like my Crystal u wanna strap up wit a magnum. Trust u not the first nigga to smash to get her high no matter how many times she say she dont normally do this. 

If u anything like my nigga Sam then u like a bitch to lick ur ass. Sometime a bitch act funny when u ask her. No worries my Gs. When Crystal come thru to get high u wanna spray that shit on ur ass n let that bitch go to work. If a bitch wanna get high enough she gon lick that ass clean. Bitch might find out she like eating ass after all. Now u doing her a service 2. It might b weird the first time but I promise nex time Crystal come thru to get high she gonna be ready to eat ass. 


Of course if u tryin to trick a bitch you can get those cannadom condoms. They colored green n they smell n taste like weed. These joints ain't getting u high tho but the Crystals out there dont kno that shit. Tell her the longer she suck that dick the higher she gon get. This 4 niggas that take a grip to nut. After u buss just tell her it take time to kick in n show her the door. If u plan on seeing the bitch again u dont wanna use this tactic cuz she not gon get high n u prolly not gon get that again. 

Theres other products u can try 2. They got infused whip cream n chocolate n cherry sauce. U can cop it at the dispensary or make it urself. I stick my dick right in the jar n let a bitch suck that shit off. Or if you my nigga Sam u put that shit right on ur ass n let a bitch do work. 

Ur welcome. I'll catch yall muthafucks in a week. EZ


Copyright Talking Seaweed 2019