LAZY POTHEAD SKIPS WEEK WRITING BLOG
So last week I totally slacked on writing this blog, I know you noticed.
I could tell you it was for a good reason, like I was busy fighting for cannabis legalization… but it’s already legal! Well, at least here it is. I could tell you there was an emergency with my grow and it needed my immediate attention… but if you follow me on Instagram @Emjae_420, you would know my shit is running smoothly and looking amazing! Or I could tell you that I was I'll from food poisoning or the flu or some major illness… but I don’t lie about being sick... NEVER! As soon as I do I get whatever god awful sickness I lie about. So I will not lie about that… aint nobody got time for that. So I will stick to the truth because I’m too high to lie. (said really really cool)
I was simply out of town… no that’s a lie. I was just having a lazy day. Well actual night. I write my blogs at night after the kids go to bed. Because that is the only time I can hear the voices in my head. Last week those voices must have been on vacation because all I could manage to do was take bong rips and watch garbage TV. It was even a struggle to get off my couch to go pee. I mean I didn’t pee my couch via threw my pants or anything. I just waited until the very last moment because whatever garbage I was watching was so enthralling I was willing to cause myself physical pain by neglecting my bursting bladder to continue studying how rich women interact with each other. I was either watching the real house wives or southern charm. Way worse for me then all those bong rips; dead brain cells, strains your eyes, and it’s so damn addicting! The only thing the weed did was put me at those women’s mental level… fucked up!
I started this writing tonight with plans to write about working out high. Like how it’s great to because you get focused and it gives you the ability to push through and finish your work out like a super human. Or, you could be like me and get high on the way to the gym realize you left your water in the car but you’re already inside so you’re not going to turn around.
Then once you hit the treadmill,
you immediately realize you are far too high to be in public so after a short convo with yourself you decide you’re going to finish your stroll. You don’t want to walk in and immediately walk out. That would draw to much attention to your high ass. Now, seeing that you’re high AF you’re aware that everyone knows your high and everyone is watching you. So you continue walking and then you realize I am so fucking thirsty… I need water immediately. I am going to die if I do not have water now. I have been walking for 20 minutes easily uphill without any water. So you look down at the timer and what do you see 5:15 FIVE MINUTES AND FIFTEEN SECONDS and your walking flat! really is this a fucking sick joke. That’s it. I did myself a due service and just left. I don’t even know if I shut the machine off. I’m almost positive that I did because I think I was too high to get off without falling if it was still moving.
But, hey I don’t remember doing it so I’m sticking with I was so high I just jumped off smooth as fuck and bolted toward the door yelling I’m not high! You are!
I feel like I should write so much more but I forgot what my point was. So maybe I'll pick up on this next week, but I'll probably talk about something completely different.
Keep swimming, keep smoking, keep smiling!