Talking Seaweed


Talking Seaweed is a cannabis lifestyle brand founded on the East coast in 2018. Through multi-media, comedy and live events Talking Seaweed is not only giving the entire industry a platform to laugh, learn and reach everyday consumers, but we’re also consistently influencing and defining the East coast cannabis lifestyle. From producing full length (Netflix style) series’, to podcasts, to professional photography, TS delivers high quality, consistent content while fully immersing themselves in the cannabis industry and culture.

...Sorry for wasting your time.

Why so many strains of weed?

What's good in the hood my G's?? U ever notice how many kinds of weed there is out there? Back in the day it was mids, kind bud, n hydro. Niggas ain't kno the kind of fuckin weed it was. Now u can get a different kind of bud 4  ery occasion. They indicas 2 put u 2 bed, they got sativas 2 keep u up n make u creative n erything in between.


I liked that shit at first but it got annoying quick. I'm just tryna get high my G's what the fuck?? Some of the strains 2day in 2019 just got stupid names. Here is a few that I came across in the last year.

1. Purple Monkey Balls

Yo if it wasnt the only bud that I could smoke that night I wouldnt even smoke it. Ain't no nigga tryna have monkey balls on they lips. Who named this shit??

 I met this bitch on instagram named Suzy n she go 2 UMass Dartmouth. Caught a ride from my nigga n went 2 see the broad. Bitch tells me that her boy Brendan got the best weed on campus n we go get a bag. This whiteboy only had 1 kind. Purple Monkey Balls. N since it was on a campus we paid 50  a eighth.

Shit str8 tasted like grape jolly ranchers. Dumb fuckin sweet. Shit made my blood sugar go up. We smoked a couple grams out a big Glass bong this bitch had in her closet. First reason I hate this shit is the name. Second reason is cuz I got mad paranoid. We took a walk on campus n erybody was staring at me. Suzy said its cuz the ski mask but idk. Once we got back 2 her dorm room a nigga was tired af. That bring me 2 the 3rd reason I hate this shit. I fell the fuck out 4  12 hours str8 my Gs. I didnt even get no pussy. N this bitch Suzy a bad 1. I woke up next day n this bitch was still passed out. I called my nigga n left. 4 got the rest of the weed in her dorm. So I paid $50 an eighth n all I did was smoke half, sleep, n leave the rest there n got no pussy..


2. Charlie Sheen

Funny thing bout this one is that I smoked it with a white stripper name sinamin that does porn. I wouldnt call the bitch a porn star. She just a thot but it was mean 2 be that I smoked it with her.

Sinamin smelled weed on me in the strip club n told me she wanted 2 smoke wit the God. She had this shit from the dispensary called Charlie Sheen. 2 me that shit smelled n taste like lemon chemicals. Shit was like smoking the air freshener we got at the car wash. Terrible. The good thing I liked about this one is that it gave me energy. I helped this bitch vacume out her car n erything. At least this time I got my dick sucked.

3. White Girl

This ain't that white girl u thinking bout tho. Cant sniff this. (But if u need that get at me) This is bud called white girl n it was nasty. I hate it mostly cuz the name. I get it tho. It's a hybrid, Berry White n Girl Scout Cookie. Niggas couldnt called it white cookie tho?? Or Berry Scout??

Anyways this shit I smoked on 4/20 when my boy came back from Seattle. It tasted like str8 shit. My nigga told me he brought it back by sticking it up his ass n getting in the plane. Idk if it smell like shit cuz that how it smell or cuz it was up his ass 4 like 6 hours.

The high was A1 tho. Niggas smoked 3 blunts. Shit had me on my munchies shit. Ate 2 large mac n cheese orders from KFC n 6 biscuits. Niggas smoked so much I had 2 call in 2 work n then mufuckas fired me.


So since theres all type of names 4 bud I want someone 2 name bud after me. Whoever come up wit strains of weed I want one named after me called G FAM BLACK KUSH. I'll sell u the right 2 use my name 4  10 stacks n a pound of the bud. Any takers get at me on facebook or instagram. N if u ain't copped my album yet go head n do that 4 only $5. Check u in a week.


Copyright Talking Seaweed 2019