Talking Seaweed


Talking Seaweed is a cannabis lifestyle brand founded on the East coast in 2018. Through multi-media, comedy and live events Talking Seaweed is not only giving the entire industry a platform to laugh, learn and reach everyday consumers, but we’re also consistently influencing and defining the East coast cannabis lifestyle. From producing full length (Netflix style) series’, to podcasts, to professional photography, TS delivers high quality, consistent content while fully immersing themselves in the cannabis industry and culture.

...Sorry for wasting your time.


My Gs what's good? Its ur boy G FAM BLACK back 2 learn you somethin. This time I'm talkin bout drug tests.


Why they do drug tests in the first place. I can do erything high. Drive , work, school, any muthafuckin thing no lies. Niggas even made shit legal n they still testin niggas 4 bud? What part of the game is that? Shit stupid. I can sniff a ball n piss clean in 2 days but I smoke a blunt I cant piss clean 4 a month?

Just got a job at the car wash n this dude tell me I need 2 take a piss test. I hit my nigga Sam up cuz he kno how 2 pass that shit. He told me 2 use fake piss. Didnt think that would work at first but it do.

First things first go buy the fake piss. U can get it online or at most smoke shops n vape shops n shit. Jus walk in n ask 4 fake piss n they will give it 2 you. Shit called Quick Fix plus n it cost $40 but worth it 2 get the job. It comes wit a bottle of fake piss wit temperature on the side , elastic, n hand warmer. They put all the chemicals in it that real piss got in it 4 niggas n bitches.


On ur way 2 the test tell ur uber driver 2 put the bottle of fake piss on the defrost in they car n turn the heat all the way up. Make sure the temp get up 2 like 98 degrees or more. Take the bottle n tuck that shit under ur nutsac so it stay body temp. Bitches tuck it in up in  ur pussyhole.

Sometime it take them a while 2 call ur name if it's a walk in so u polly wanna make appointment wit them. 4 mines i didnt make appointment n i waited like 45 min. Long as shit tucked good u gon keep it close 2 that temp.

When they call u in 2 piss make sure u check the temp on the side of the bottle cuz it gotta be over 90 degrees n under 100 degrees. You might wanna piss 4 real in the toilet a little so it seem more real. They keep the toilet broke so u cant flush. Squirt that shit in the piss cup n give it 2 the bitch n u good. Make sure u take the quick fix bottle wit u cuz they be checkin the trash cans there. Few days later u get a call saying that u passed n u good. Simple shit.


Idk wtf the handwarmer is 4 but I just give it 2 one of the people waiting in line at the methadone clinic down the street from my crib. They be out there 4 a hour sometimes more 4 that fix. The company say that this shit ain't made 4 drug tests just cuz they got 2 cuz it aint legal. So wtf is it 4?? It says its novelty piss 4 fetish purposes. Really tho? $40?? I pissed on a few hoes in my day n it's free. Ain't no 1 paying $40 2 squirt fake piss on someone.. Plus they wouldn't sell it at a smoke shop if it was 4 that it would be at a porno store.


Either way u just passed ur test n now u gotta job. Even if its Walmart or a car wash u gon make that $40 back the first day. Shit wont replace ur hustle but a guarantee check ery week gon help u out when theres a drought. If this shit dont work 4 ne of u bitches just hit me up. I got some side work 4 u til the next job come along. See yall mufuckas in a week.


Copyright Talking Seaweed 2019